All of your favourite unelected bureaucrats have met in Davos again

This gathering was every bit as entertaining as the last one

So I’ve been taking my mind off things by doing my very favourite thing: watching the World Economic Forum in Davos, and I must tell you it has been brilliant!

The WEF is the annual event where unelected bureaucrats gather to: discuss taking over the world’s governments; end privacy through total surveillance; come up with inspiring slogans such as “we will own you and you will be happy”; unveil their latest mind-control devices; and call everyone who repeats their own words a “conspiracy theorist”.

The WEF hive-mind reminded us that “misinformation” is now the biggest threat to humanity. Not the climate crisis, not the endless wars and genocides, not the giant alien spaceship that has reached the edge of the solar system, but MISINFORMATION!

I don’t know about you, but I trust the people who want total surveillance to decide which opinions are acceptable. Obviously, you should never hear a wrong opinion. You should trust that propagandists who are smarter than you (like me) will tell the truth. That way you will never have to think for yourself…

What was brilliant about this year’s WEF is that half of the attendees were not hiding their evil intentions behind wokeism and came out as “anti-woke”. One of them even admitted that net zero is a big business for them, rather than a noble quest to save the planet.

Many people love how capitalists turned net zero from a noble quest into an opportunity to trick the public and make money. However, smart people understand that corporations co-opting well-intentioned movements is SOCIALISM and should be condemned. Corporations should pursue capital without pretending to do the right thing. This is how freedom works.

Thankfully, the greatest intellect of our time rose again, like the second coming of the anti-Christ, to explain this, and other important stuff, to us.

Adolf Musk’s second-in command, Donald Trump, spoke to the WEF, even though he was thousands of miles away at his golf resort, being watched by perfectly innocent Chinese drones.

Surprisingly, Trump chose not to communicate through his brain microchip so the people who aren’t vaccinated can hear him too. Instead, he communicated through an alternative technology called a “video call”. I know, I know, I’m coming up with all the technical terminology today! I’m super smart.

Trump spoke as eloquently as a random word generator that occasionally made sense, like a monkey typing until it accidentally hit the right keys. His speech made even the people who attend the most embarrassing event in the world look embarrassed, and that’s why it was so entertaining.

Trump explained he would overturn net zero to end the wars, and he would prevent forest fires by raking entire forests. I’m not smart enough to understand the second part, not least because the LA fires were not forest fires. I’m just pleased that Trump has solved the climate crisis and identified that green policies are the cause of the world’s conflicts. Net zero is basically Hamas.

Trump generously told foreign businesses that instead of manufacturing their products abroad, they can manufacture them in the US where higher labour costs will save them net zero. He explained foreign businesses will generate higher tax revenues, rather than take their business elsewhere. This policy confused everyone who thought Republicans hate taxes. It seems they love taxes now, but only when other people are paying them.

Trump told off Europe for taxing American businesses such as Facebook, which is probably why Mark Zuckerberg is pretending to be masculine and has synthesised a fancy new perm to show how alpha he is.

Was Zuck serious about ending censorship, or will he take the correct position of only censoring people Trump disagrees with? Someone needs to shut the woke mob up because they annoy everyone, even other members of the woke mob.

The most unfortunate thing about the culture war is that it has split the ruling class into factions, which is ironic, given the original plan was to split the working class into factions. Now no one knows what the fuck is going on.

American conservatives are concerned the WEF has a fiendish plan to hand the world over to Vanguard and BlackRock. This differs massively from their own plan to hand the world over to Vanguard and BlackRock. It also differs massively from the Democrats’ plan to hand the world over to Vanguard and BlackRock. No wonder capitalists are mad at each other, but surely we can find common ground?

One thing we can surely agree on is that corporations should take control of your lives. The only question is should those corporations pretend to be woke or anti-woke while they’re enslaving you? Personally, I’m opposed to intersectional slavery, just like I’m opposed to intersectional warfare. I like my evil to be out and proud, not hidden in the closet. This is why Trump is my guy.

Adolf Musk’s second-in-command sent shockwaves through Davos when he promised the same economic policies that wrecked the Argentinian economy. This led to rapturous applause, so you can imagine the excitement when the Argentinian president took to the stage to explain why his policies are so good at impoverishing workers.

Milei boasted that he is committed to solving the inflation he caused, but it’s a more complicated task than sequencing the genome of Klaus Schwab. He explained he is going to “dismantle the ideological edifice of sickly wokeism” to save us from the wrong version of capital greed.

Milei said other things, but that was the only part I could comprehend (apart something about how capitalism was brilliant until the wokies made the billionaires do bad stuff like rainbow flags).

To be honest, I tuned out at this point, but I’m told Milei spent his remaining time saying how much he hates women, and how concerned he is about foreigners raping women. I’m told he had planned to call out Trump for his sex crimes, but Trump grabbed him by the pussy and reminded him to know his place.

Remember, you are only meant to care about women when you can make immigrants look bad. Doing so in any other context is radical feminism and we don’t do that anymore. This is why even HTS, who have been hunting down and mutilating female academics in Syria, had a representative at the event.

The World Economic Forum is so inclusive that no form of evil is left out, not even the form we fought a 20-year war on terror against. HTS’ foreign minister told the gathering that his terror group is reformed now. Syria wants to follow the model of Saudi Arabia where they let the West have the oil, and the West lets them do all the women oppression they want.

The HTS guy even had a smiley chat with his former enemy, Tony Blair, proving the West will forgive anything if you serve the interests of the empire, just like it will let you get away with nothing if you serve the interests of your own people.

There were many other speakers after this, but none were as interesting as the Al Qaida terrorist and the NATO terrorist, so I shall spare you the rest.

Just know that after 17 million hours of bureaucrats humble-bragging about their importance to humanity, all attendees were led to a sex party where hidden cameras will ensure their future compliance with the “globalist agenda”, whatever that means. I hope they had a brilliant time x

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