As IDF achieves 83% civilian casualty rate, Netanyahu unveils plan to censor whole internet
The IDF could not resist boasting that at least 83% of the people it has killed in Gaza are civilians - a murder rate that has surpassed Itamir Ben Gvir's wettest dreams. The IDF achieved this milestone after realising it was much easier to bomb tents and gun down civilians in aid queues than it was to fight Hamas in booby-trapped tunnels.
The IDF admitted it had killed 8,900 Hamas fighters before asking itself, why bother fighting people who can fight back? At that time, the official death toll in Gaza was 53,000, suggesting 83% of those killed were civilians. However, Ben Gvir is quick to emphasise the real death toll is likely to be around 400,000, meaning we have a 98% civilian casualty rate. This means 50 civilians are killed for every Hamas fighter.
As you can imagine, the woke brigade are uneasy about the fact the IDF is gunning down everyone in sight, including children. Things are further complicated by the fact famine has been officially declared in Gaza City.
The IDF has begun a ground invasion of Gaza City where it hopes the starving civilians will make easy targets. Israel faces the awkward position of really wanting to brag about its killing but needing to hide it. Imagine having to keep your proudest achievements secret. Life can be so cruel.
Netanyahu has just explained that Israel has a "Gen Z problem", by which he means across the world, Gen Z thinks he's a cunt. He has therefore announced that Israel must seize control of the algorithms. This is the only way to suppress those who report the war crimes the IDF keeps bragging about... I know, I'm confused too!
Apparently, excited IDF soldiers are allowed to boast about their murders, but everyone else is expected to pretend those murders never happened, otherwise they are antisemites. Netanyahu's plan is to silence those antisemites by making their social media posts invisible. This is because Israel is fighting for western values... such as free speech.
Excitingly, the censorship process is well underway and there has been a huge drop in the visibility of posts reporting the IDF's war crimes. Unfortunately, this policy has also impacted hasbarists who couldn't resist gloating. The algorithm might need some tinkering.
Netanyahu's noble mission to seize control of the internet has included forcing the sale of TikTok and pushing through the Online Safety Act. Soon your timeline will be full of people declaring that the world's most wanted war criminal deserves the Nobel Peace Prize, at which point Gen Z will be safe from bad thoughts and everyone will love Israel again. I fucking love this dystopian hellscape, don't you? x
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It's despicable. netanyahu and gvir are monsters. They will meet their fate one day.
Pome.
I think that I shall never see
A thing
As disgusting
As an Israeli.
(Except all the racist scum Western politicians who enable the Genocide. They're disgusting too.)