Clashes in West Bank as settlers lynch Oscar winner in self-defence

No other land is as tolerant as Israel...

There were clashes in the West Bank when Israeli settlers attacked Palestinians who were enjoying the Iftar feast after fasting for Ramadan. The settlers pretended the villagers had thrown rocks at them, attracting worldwide condemnation… for their victims.

Rocks are a big problem in the occupied territories because they hurt the feelings of the occupiers’ tanks. Even the possibility that rocks might be thrown is enough to leave Israelis traumatised so you can understand why they felt the need to lie.

Thankfully, everyone who has disputed Israel’s story has been removed from social media. It is a hate crime to share footage of the event because attacking Palestinians is a cultural tradition for Israeli settlers.

Israeli soldiers watched the violence and ensured no one came to the aid of those who screamed for their lives. An IDF spokesperson confirmed that if any Palestinian had attempted self-defence, they would have been shot on the spot. This is perfectly understandable given one of the Palestinians was a known terrorist. Israel showed remarkable restraint by not dropping a 2,000lb bunker buster on his village.

The terrorist in question committed a despicable act of violence when he made a film about Israeli settlers trying to wipe his village off the map. Hamdan Ballal even won an Oscar for his film, No Other Land. This outrage left settlers with no choice but to try to wipe his village of the map. How else would they clear their name?

Masked men beat Ballal half to death in what was described as a “non-political” act of revenge. When Ballal was taken by an ambulance, the IDF were concerned he might survive so they dragged him out and beat him again. They left him shackled and blindfolded in a cell all night and joked about his Oscar as they tortured him.

Ballal is now free to return home to his family as soon as he has recovered in hospital. A 2,000lb bunker buster has been scheduled for his village, but the fate of the hospital remains unclear.

Ordinarily, Israel would pretend their captive was a terrorist for at least a few months, but they made an exception because their captive was famous. I understand soldiers even resisted the urge to rape Ballal with an electrified metal pole. This shows that Israel respects due process, unlike those savage Palestinians.

I can only assume Ballal has been forced to apologise to the people who lynched him and agreed to never make a film again. This might be the only way to protect Israel from the truth.

Ballal’s co-director once sparked controversy at an awards ceremony by referring to the “situation of apartheid” in Israel. His outrageous words have put him in the same company as terrorist organisations such as Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch, the United Nations, and the International Court of Justice.

The US Academy declined to support Ballal during his captivity because Israel can do whatever the fuck it wants. Obviously, the violence was nowhere near as bad as the time Will Smith slapped a man for insulting his wife so there was no need for hysteria. And yet hysteria is what we got…

Mark Ruffalo became Israel’s most wanted man when he called on “every filmmaker and Academy member” to “act together in protest” at the arrest. These Palestine supporters are so insensitive.

Gal Gadot is traumatised because one of her co-stars said “Free Palestine” and Hamdan Ballal hasn’t said a word of solidarity, the fucking scumbag. It’s unclear if the Academy plans to revoke Ballal’s Oscar and give it to the IDF propagandist. Let’s be honest, Wonder Woman is never gonna win an Oscar any other way because she can’t act to save her life x

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