Counter-terrorism police have been sent to deal with Helen from Wales

At last, we're going after the real criminals

The mysterious leader of Hamas UK, known only as "Helen from Wales", has finally met her comeuppance after counter-terrorism police paid her a visit.

Helen from Wales shot to prominence after intelligence agents noticed she was broadcasting terrorist propaganda from Glastonbury. The propaganda was spewed by Jihadist hate preachers called Kneecap.

I'm told Kneecap come from "Northern Ireland" so I'm unclear how they were able to enter the UK. I can only assume they used the same terrorist tunnels as Helen.

Helen is so fanatical that she held up her iPhone for almost an hour, burning her thumb in the process. Burning your thumb this way for your warped ideology is almost the same as suicide bombing. It's unclear how intelligence agents figured Helen out, given she was only doing this in full view of tens of thousands of festival goers and watched by millions on TikTok. Clearly, MI5 is on top of its game.

Worryingly, the Kneecap hate preachers recently escaped prosecution, despite videos showing they hold opinions Starmer's donors disapprove of. Disturbingly, they even waved flags Zionists dislike, and yet the police did not press charges because apparently having unauthorised opinions "doesn't count as terrorism".

Best police could do with Kneecap was abuse their powers to intimidate and disrupt them, but the fucking geniuses only succeeded in making Kneecap ten times more popular and spawning copycats.

One such copycat is punk act Bob Vylan who caused outrage by chanting "Death, death to the IDF" at Glastonbury. If only he'd chanted about an army we don't like such as the Russians, that would have been fine. "Death, death to Russia " would have been lovely, but Bob had to chant about our favourite genocidal lunatics, the ones who pay well.

Needless to say, Helen from Wales is just as closely connected to Bob Vylan as she is to Kneecap. I have no evidence to support this claim, but I'm asserting it to be true so this piece can be published by The Daily Mail. I mean it's not like they haven't published totally made up stories before. Their hysterical audience laps this sort of thing up.

I know for a fact that Helen from Wales has close ties to Kneecap because she was given free tickets by them. Thankfully, those tickets were confiscated when counter-terrorism police trashed her house out of spite.

A police spokesperson told me they have no basis on which to prosecute Helen, but they've banned her from attending concerts under the Terrorism Act, and they hope to make her life as difficult as possible like they do with everyone who supports Palestine. It's only what Helen deserves x

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