France officially declares that Netanyahu is above international law

This is the get-out clause genocide fans have all been waiting for

In what will come as a huge relief to fans of genocide, Mossad has succeeded in its attempt to blackmail the French government. This means Israel no longer needs to resort to Plan B which involved a generous shipment of pagers.

France had caused major concern by suggesting it would uphold international law and enforce the arrest warrant for Netanyahu, if the Israeli prime minister were to set foot on French soil. Thankfully, Mossad rummaged through its archives and found enough tapes of French officials in compromising positions. This forced the French government to change its position as a matter of moral principle. Who said nothing good came out of Epstein island?

France now says it respects the right of the ICC to issue warrants, but it retains the right to ignore them in cases where the accused has committed the worst crimes imaginable. This is, of course, the moderate position. Anyone who believes in upholding international law is a far-left extremist who must be condemned. French police have vowed to violently crackdown on anyone who protests against their government's decision because they would like to stay on the right side of history.

The French position is now officially that Benjamin Netanyahu is above international law. Surprisingly, this is not because he is Israeli though. Well, this is the real reason, but they can’t admit that so they’ve come up with an alternative excuse! That excuse is that Netanyahu is immune from prosecution because he is a sitting head of government and Israel is not a signatory to the Rome Statute. This is the excuse countries have used to not arrest Putin and al-Bashir, meaning Netanyahu is in fine company.

Let’s just ignore that the ICC has ruled leaders cannot make themselves above international law by refusing to sign the Rome Statute. If that were the case, every tyrant would opt out, and there would be no such thing as a war criminal!

All that matters is we now have our excuse to ignore international law when it’s inconvenient and abolish the ICC if it pushes the matter. You can expect all countries who think international law doesn’t apply to Israel to follow France’s lead. The good countries are going to make up an imaginary version of international law and pretend it’s real. Isn’t that clever?

We are now returning to an exciting time when international law only applied to the countries we don’t like (black ones, brown ones, and eastern European ones). Call me a sentimental fool, but I like to call this new system of double-standards an “empire”. We are truly returning to a golden age x

---

Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! If you enjoyed this article as much as I did, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend. Your support is hugely appreciated x