Greatest ever FIFA Peace Prize winner is finally given Nobel Peace Prize by woman he bullied

The greatest ever winner of the FIFA Peace Prize, Donald Trump, has finally been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. If you’re unfamiliar with the Nobel Peace Prize, it is usually given to the least bad war criminal of the last 12 months. This differs from the FIFA Peace Prize which is given to the person who can help the FIFA president avoid corruption charges.

Given that Trump only launched 622 bombings against seven countries over a 12-month period, he thought he was a shoo-in for the Nobel Peace Prize. However, it was controversially awarded to the woman we are pretending is the rightful leader of Venezuela.

Maria Machado edged Trump by dropping no bombs, although she did beg for her own country to be bombed, which is a war crime and act of treason. We can’t have a Nobel Peace Prize winner be too peaceful, can we?

Some argue the Nobel Peace Prize shouldn’t go to war criminals at all. It should go to people who try to avoid wars, meaning Trump should never have been under consideration, but this is unfair on the man who once faked bone spurs to avoid Vietnam. Maria Machado has never done anything so brave.

Trump was so upset that he wasn’t given the prize that he refused to install Machado after he kidnapped Venezuela’s president. In a cruel blow, he left Nicolas Maduro’s vice president in charge. Machado had quite literally sold her soul for this role (just check out those demonic eyes) and Trump ditched her out of pure spite.

Machado was desperate to win over Trump so she offered to share the prize with him like it’s a girl on Epstein island, but sadly, that is against Nobel rules, so now she has just given it to him. Yes, Maria Machado has given her award away in the hope Trump will give her a country where everyone hates her!

Technically, giving the prize away is also against Nobel rules so think of this as a participation trophy, something we give to losers to make them feel better about themselves. Trump can now say he has won two totally real peace prizes, which I’m pretty sure is better than Obama x

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