Hamas offers to mediate peace talks between Trump and Musk

Due to the growing humanitarian crisis in the US, Hamas has offered to mediate peace talks between Elon Musk and Donald Trump. The situation is so dire, the UN has warned of widespread hunger in Mar-a-Lago. There are disturbing reports that Trump's kids are being forced to eat the doges and cats.

One thing is clear: we are looking at the biggest crisis since the made up genocide of white people in South Africa. 6/5 is truly the incel 9/11.

Elon Musk received global condemnation for what many considered excessive force when he dismantled America's institutions in what he called an "efficiency drive". When questioned by reporters, Musk insisted that "Tesla has a right to defend itself". He then mumbled something about the White House being promised to him in a 3,000-year-old book. At that point, it became clear we are dealing with a madman.

Musk angrily rejected accusations that he is a coloniser, insisting he is a native American and it's racist to question his ethnicity. Proud of his racism, Trump is hoping to deport Musk to South Africa or maybe El Salvador, but Musk is not going anywhere without a fight.

Musk has demanded the unconditional surrender of Trump and the release of the Epstein files, plus a refund of the $290 million he spent on the US election. However, Musk might be unrealistic with his demands because his allies fear he will not survive the ketamine embargo.

The Israel-backed Trump is stalling on a peace deal, leaving many to suspect he is not interested in the release of the Epstein files and is dragging the war out to save his political career. The issue is certainly proving divisive with legal experts saying Musk's occupation of the White House is illegal, but Trump needs to lay down his fake tan and release the Epstein files.

Sir Keir Starmer said the situation is "intolerable", but has so far rejected calls to ban Tesla imports. While it is illegal to sell Cybertrucks in the UK, other Teslas are allowed, leaving many to accuse the prime minister of complicity in war crimes. Starmer has denied conducting surveillance flights for Musk, insisting the accusations are "ridiculous".

Despite the unimaginable human suffering, we have seen a staggering level of insensitivity from the terrorist-loving left. AOC was earlier arrested for mocking Trump and Musk, saying "the girls are fighting" and then laughing. Laughing. AOC's arrest was applauded by free speech warriors across the US.

Predictably, social media is rife with disgraceful comments and this is making Palantir's mass surveillance an almost impossible job. There are growing calls to rip up the first amendment to stop people mocking the infighting free speech warriors.

The ADL has demanded that anti-incels be de-platformed - a move that would turn every social media app into Truth Social. This would solve a major problem because the internet weirdos who've never had a girlfriend have no idea whether to side with X or Truth Social. If we could merge them into a giant incel wank-fest, that would be great, but many experts feel a single-app solution is unworkable and a two-app solution is the only viable option. One thing we can surely all agree on is that a ceasefire is urgently needed x

---

Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend. Your support is hugely appreciated x