IDF bombing tents in case there are tunnels underneath them

Concerning stories have emerged of a "safe zone" that went un-bombed

Disturbing reports have emerged from IDF soldiers traversing the sunlit rubble hills of Gaza that noises were coming from beneath their feet, indicating some Palestinians might still be just about alive.

While some thought it was good that Palestinian suffering had been prolonged, the news caused panic at IDF HQ in Washington DC where they realised the “survivor problem” was much worse than they’d initially thought. Shockingly, there is a tent city in Rafah where people are eating grass and drinking polluted water in a "designated safe zone” that they’d completely forgotten to obliterate. Someone is totally getting fired for this oversight.

Israel was quick to react to the “survivor crisis” in the appropriate humanitarian manner of blocking aid trucks while the IDF bombed tents in case there were tunnels underneath them. This led to inevitable accusations of war crimes, but these were easily refuted by the IDF who proved they are The World’s Most Moral Army™ by sharing videos online of themselves torturing Palestinians.

They even have a Telegram Channel, which is definitely not useful for the International Court of Justice, where they boast about burning mothers alive in front of their children and crunching the bones of their prisoners in self-defence.

Thankfully, sensible pundits in the UK have explained the real problem is UNRWA because it has been giving aid to Palestinian refugees for generations. Nobody knows who made those people refugees or what would have happened if UNRWA stopped giving them aid, but the best way to stop them being refugees is obviously to expel them from their own country. The British media has played a prominent role in ethnic cleansing and genocide because these are proud British traditions.

You would think there would be a consensus in the UK, given propagandists like me have amplified Israel’s made-up stories to justify genocide, but apparently not. I heard staff refused to work for triple-pay at an event organised by Douglas Murray to raise funds for the real victims of the genocide - the soldiers who are carrying it out and boasting about it on Telegram.

Sadly, the event had to be cancelled and those soldiers are being forced to eat free Happy Meals from McDonald’s, which, let’s be honest, is a fate worse than eating grass and drinking polluted water. Remember, this is only happening because of those woke waiters who still haven’t been arrested for their hate crimes.

Fortunately, not everyone has gone woke and our morally-superior female politicians have explained white feminism doesn’t extend to Palestinian women giving birth without medical care as drones fly overhead, trying really hard to kill them and their newborns.

Even our leftie politicians are siding with the killer drones because the two MPs who didn’t side with the killer drones got kicked out of the Labour Party, forcing the rest of them to courageously toe the line. A teary Angela Rayner said she would do anything to stop the killing, apart from call for a ceasefire or condemn the IDF or support the ICJ or demand we stop supplying weapons to Israel. This is the type of leadership we need.

I don’t know about you, but I, for one, am glad we have politicians who can’t take a principled stand, even when terrible things violate their so-called principles. I’m even happier that anyone who challenges them is dragged from the building by security to shield them from accountability. The last thing we need is politicians being challenged when they pretend to care.

God bless all the people who continue to vote for the lesser of two evils. We couldn’t do this without your gullibility, you genocide enablers (heart emoji).

Make no mistake, there is still plenty of killing to be done and our imperialist friends across the pond understand the needs of the military industrial complex better than anyone. You will therefore be pleased to hear the US has been bombing the middle-east again because three of their soldiers were killed and they needed to increase the bloodshed.

President Biden said: “If you harm an American, we will respond, unless your name is Rachel Corrie or Shireen Abu Akleh and you were murdered by Israel, in which case we don’t care.”

President Biden might just be up there with Bibi as the greatest war criminal of our time x

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