Iranian women truly feel liberated after being bombed by American female B2 pilot
This is what progress looks like...
As we all know, the biggest concern of the US and Israel when they illegally bombed Iran, risking a humanitarian catastrophe, and potentially World War III, was the liberation of Iranian women. And gays. We are also pretending to care about the gays.... What? Don't look at me like that!
In hugely exciting news, it turns out a pilot of one of the B2 Spirits that bombed Iran's nuclear sites was a woman, sorry, I mean girl boss.
After hearing news of the girl boss, the liberal media was careful to focus on the most important point: that Pete Hegseth failed to give the female pilot credit for her war crime and only credited "the boys".
The difference between liberal and conservative media is that liberal journalists think genocides should be inclusive whereas conservatives tend to think it is still a man's game. Clearly, this view is outdated.
As a conservative pseudo-feminist, I can't see how our liberation of Iran's women can be taken seriously unless we allow our women to participate in the bombing frenzy. I wish I was...
Excitingly, I'm told the bomb dropped by the girl boss was pink to send a powerful message to Iran's women that we are with you. Sadly, someone forgot to include glitter so the gays felt left out. Oh well, there's always next time...
The powerful feminist gesture has not escaped the attention of Iran's women who have been crying out for white saviours. "Truly, we have been liberated!" they shrieked as the morality police beat them. "One day, we all hope to be bombed by a girl boss."
Iran is a brutal theocracy that punishes women who don't adhere to a strict interpretation of Islam, unlike the US which jails women because Jesus doesn't like abortions. The US is so progressive it forces children who were raped by their father, and women who are clinically braindead, to give birth.
Iran's disgraceful record on women's rights includes having a higher level of female literacy than the US and double the number of female scientists. Sensibly, Israel has been taking out those scientists in targeted assassinations, the liberating kind.
Israel's illegal and unprovoked war truly deserves a Nobel Peace Prize because it has liberated hundreds of Iranian women... by killing them. It gets even better: 16 of the Israeli pilots who attacked Iran were female.
Yay, equality! x
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The hypocrisy is sickening. Love your writing.
Brilliant! Thank you!