Israel cares about gay rights so much, it blackmails members of the LGBT community
Israel cares about gay rights so much, it blackmails members of the LGBT community
How else would you gather intelligence?
Israel says one of the best reasons to support its genocide is that it’s gay-friendly, unlike Gaza where “they would throw you off a roof for being gay”. Israel reminds us homosexuality is punishable by death in Palestine, but let's not mention this law is a relic from British rule and no longer enforced.
It does not matter that gay people do not get thrown off roofs in Gaza. It doesn’t even matter that there are no roofs left in Gaza because Israel has bombed them all, what matters is Israel paints rainbows on its bombs. If you don’t support the rainbow bombs, you must hate the LGBT community.
The LGBT community never offered their endorsement of Israel’s bombs, but that doesn’t matter because Israel can take whatever it likes. I mean why break the habit of a lifetime? Israel’s genocide is endorsed by LGBT people whether they like it or not!
A recent report from Drop Site News revealed how Israel has been cooperating with the LGBT community in order to defeat Hamas. The LGBT community would obviously never cooperate with Hamas because they’re all homophobes.
The exciting collaboration came about when Shin Bet infiltrated Grindr and befriended users from Gaza. Intelligence agents sent their targets pictures of their friends and family, basically saying: “It would be a shame if they found out about your little secret”.
By the way, they used the same approach on straight people who had been unfaithful, so you can’t accuse them of discrimination here. What matters is no Palestinian has to worry, as long as they cooperate with Shin Bet. If they cooperate, everything will be fine, unless they are outed as collaborators, in which case they’re fucked.
The aim of Shin Bet is to get recruits to spy on their family members, rummage through their homes and question their relatives to see what information they can find. If they don’t find the info Shin Bet wants, their family members get sent their Grindr messages and intimate pictures, but this is okay because it’s self-defence.
Anyone who doesn’t cooperate with Shin Bet is Hamas. Anyone who does cooperate with Shin Bet is proving they are related to a member of Hamas.
I think we can all agree Israel has a right to defend itself from members of the LGBT community. It has long been established that anyone within a 300m radius of a Hamas operative can be turned into collateral damage, meaning whatever happens is not Israel's fault.
One Palestinian man was stopped at a checkpoint and when soldiers found the Grindr app on his phone, they interrogated him and his partner for five hours. The soldier went through his intimate pictures and tried to recruit him as an informant. When he refused, the man was beaten by the world’s most moral army for two hours.
A Palestinian Catholic man received a Facebook message with terrible grammar which read: “We know that you are a fucking you disgrace Christianity and Palestinians with your disgusting nature and I will expose you for what you really are.
“I’m gonna tell the whole world that you are gay and that you are a danger to the children of this society. you are disgusting and you will never get anywhere because I will stop you.”
Thankfully, Facebook doesn’t suspend Shin Bet agents, it only suspends people who post memes that make Israelis feel uncomfortable.
Not only has Shin Bet protected gay rights by protecting the identity of informants, it has ensured the family members of informants can access things like cancer treatment, but only if they comply. If they don’t comply, the family member with cancer must be Hamas and is therefore denied treatment.
Sadly, these methods for gathering intelligence violate international law, but when did international law ever apply to Israel? International law only applies to the countries we don’t like.
I think there might be another point in history when a deeply homophobic regime turned friends and family against each other, but I can’t remember when, can you?
All that matters is that Israel is not homophobic because it paints rainbows on its bombs. Never mind the country doesn’t allow gay marriage and the IDF rapes prisoners with red hot poles and assault rifles, Israel is a progressive country and important ally x
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Laura, your satire is like a flaming scathing sword. Your targets deserve it. Thank you 🙏
Israel is (objectively) a genocidal society of lethal-electric-anal-rapists & their deranged, bloodthirsty cheerleaders. Inside the Knesset, and out in the streets, they fight to KEEP raping Palestinians.
Human beings — with humanity and/or perspective — are a tiny, powerless fringe element in Israel.
I will never again agree that, “Israel has a right to exist.” Israel, as it actually is (not as a theory, not as a wishful thought, but as it actually is), SHOULDN’T.
Likewise, I will never mindlessly agree that “Israel has a right to defend itself.” No more than a home-invader has a right to ‘defend’ himself from the home-owner’s resistance. No more than a bank-robber has a right to ‘defend’ himself from a security guard. No more than a rapist has a right to ‘defend’ itself from its victim. Israel is ALL of those things, and so much worse. A violent criminal, during the commission of its violent crimes, has no "right" to self-defence.