Israel has investigated its own war crime and found itself not guilty. Again.

You will be hugely relieved to hear that Israel has conducted an investigation into its latest horrific war crime and found itself not guilty of wrongdoing. It has explained the reason it killed five journalists and the people who came to rescue them in a "double tap" is that it was tricked by a "Hamas camera".

Now I, like you, have no fucking idea what a Hamas camera is, but it sounds really bad. Presumably, it's one of those cameras that show you factually what is happening in Gaza, which would be totally unacceptable. Everyone knows the truth is Hamas propaganda.

The fiendish Hamas camera duped a hapless IDF drone operator who would not have dreamed of bombing a hospital under normal circumstances. Obviously, when you spot a Hamas camera, it's different. If you spot a Hamas camera, the natural thing to do is bomb the fucking hospital. Twice.

The drone operator could not have known that the journalists in possession of the camera were not Hamas because every journalist in Gaza is Hamas, unless westerners object to their killing.

Given how inconsistent we are when it comes to human rights, you can imagine how confused the IDF gets. Technically, we are as much to blame as the Hamas camera. We are lucky Israel isn't drone-striking us... yet.

Now that Israel has investigated itself and found the Hamas camera was responsible for killing the journalists, rescuers, and hospital patients, the IDF drone operator has been exonerated. This means he can get on with the important job of double-tapping Hamas cameras wherever they may be.

It's not just Hamas cameras that IDF drone operators are targeting, it's Hamas anything. See a guy wearing Hamas shoes? Bomb him. And make sure you get the paramedics when they arrive! See someone eating a Hamas sandwich? Do the fucking same!

Basically, if you want to murder someone, focus on one of their possessions and place the word "Hamas" in front of it. You do that and murdering them becomes totally fine as long as they're not working for western news agencies.

This approach massively relieves the pressure on the IDF who longer need to fake evidence or pretend there were tunnels under the building because they can say something like "Hamas wheelbarrow" and they will have all the evidence they need. Isn't that clever? x

---

Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend. Your support is hugely appreciated x