Israel is calling upon its secret weapon: the Trump paedophile tape

Thank god for Jeffrey Epstein...

You have to feel sorry for Israel: after committing genocide for 20 months and starting an illegal war of aggression, it has somehow found its airbases and intelligence buildings and arms factories keep exploding for some reason. I can't explain it either.

Israel invested heavily in its defence by purchasing as many US politicians as it could and all it got was a broken iron dome. If I was AIPAC, I'd be asking those politicians to refund the donations!

As Israel is obviously the victim here, it needed a Trump card, and all I can say is thank god Jeffrey Epstein was running that paedophile ring, otherwise The World's Most Moral Army™ would be cooked.

Trump had been reluctant to accept Israel's plan to let US soldiers fight for Israel, and this has left Israel with few options. Either it can use its weapons of mass destruction, or the colonisers can go home to Europe, and let's be honest, anyone would choose genocide over going home. Unfortunately, things are not that straightforward...

While half of Israel are religious nutjobs who would gladly usher in the apocalypse, the other half are atheists cosplaying as religious nutjobs so they can colonise the Middle East.

For some reason those cosplayers aren't so keen to risk nuclear fallout so they're resorting to their other weapon of mass destruction: the paedophile tape they have on Trump.

Luckily, Trump is a man of such sound judgement that he boasted about his paedophilia on camera when he thought he was among his billionaire friends, but he was actually among Mossad spies.

Needless to say, Trump's integrity is so high that he would rather commit genocide, and condemn his own soldiers to death, than go to jail. You can imagine how thrilled the voters who thought Trump would be a peace president are.

Excitingly, US warships are surrounding Iran and a British cargo plane is carrying US troops to the region in a bid to take out the Ayatollah. When that fails to stop the conflict, we will have a full ground invasion, and when the army that couldn't defeat Yemen loses, there is every chance a nuke will be launched at Tehran. It is at this point the world ends.

Aren't you glad you never spoke out against Zionism because you were scared of being called an antisemite? x

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