Melania Trump is understood to be distraught after discovering that her husband is alive and well. The First Lady was told of the tragic news while she was drinking champagne with the hot pool cleaner who she had hoped to start a new life with. She has been wearing all black ever since.
President Trump had not been seen for days and seemed in poor health when he was last seen, with the same bruising on his hand that Queen Elizabeth II had when she died in 2022. This had sparked hopes that Trump had fallen victim to a handshake from JD Vance, or perhaps Liz Truss.
Sadly, this does not appear to have been the case. President Trump has been photographed heading to a golf course in Virginia, prompting millions of Americans to cancel their planned celebrations.
Even the president is upset that the president has been spotted alive. Death would have been the perfect way to escape accountability for all the rapes he did on Epstein Island.
Unfortunately for Trump, neither God nor Satan wanted him, and when he tried to relocate to the tropical island where Jeffrey Epstein now resides, he was told to fuck off. You can imagine how upset Trump was to find out their friendship was never real and Jeffrey was only interested in filming him for blackmail purposes.
The president has asked for space for him and his family at this difficult time x
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That you managed to maintain an objective, unemotional tone in this report, despite the heartache that I, with my heightened sensitivity and compassion, could clearly detect pouring from your anguished soul, is admirable, and a tribute to your professionalism. Just know at this tragic time that you are not alone in your grief. If that is any comfort, so be it.
JD, second in line, Mike the hyperChristian Zionist third. When you look at what comes next in the US chain of mediocrity, it’s none too hopeful.