Most principled man in politics demands policy he opposed under Corbyn

The most principled man in UK politics, Wes Streeting, has demanded a policy that he opposed when Jeremy Corbyn was Labour leader.

2018 was a fun time because everyone knew the fairest way to heal the Brexit divide was to have a customs union with the EU. Unfortunately, no one could support this position because it was Jeremy Corbyn’s policy. We therefore did the most principled thing we could: we opposed the policy we believed in.

One of the great thought leaders of the time was Wes Streeting who desperately wanted to get rid of Corbyn. Outrageously, Corbyn decided to put his perfectly sensible policy in the 2019 Labour manifesto. That was the final straw for Wes who went nuclear, constantly attacking the Labour leader to further his own leadership ambitions.

When a vote was held on a customs union in 2019, it was Wes’s big chance to undermine his leader and fuck his country for personal gain. Therefore, Wes defied the party whip to abstain, despite previously having spoke in favour of a customs union. Forty other Labour MPs voted “no” or abstained, helping the motion be defeated by just seven votes.

Abstaining was clever because it enabled Wes to undermine Corbyn without looking like a massive hypocrite, and today, it enables him to undermine Starmer without looking like a massive hypocrite. Back then, Wes failed to vote for a customs union, but today he is in favour of one again. I love integrity, don’t you?

As we all know, Keir Starmer is floundering in the polls, despite doing everything the public doesn’t want. Wes is skillfully exploiting the situation by demanding a customs union from Starmer, exploiting his weakened credibility over Brexit.

Starmer was once the face of the remain movement, and the moment he got a whiff of power, he became Mr Hard Brexit. Wes would like you to know he would never be as cynical as Starmer, and when he knifes his leader in the back, he will be a much more trustworthy prime minister. I, for one, believe him.

Wes recently said the way to become Labour leader is to “tack left” like that time Starmer pretended to be a socialist and won the leadership race and expelled all the socialists and proscribed socialist organisations. Wes is planning a series of cunning moves to trick Labour members into thinking he is progressive so he can fulfil his lifelong goal of NHS privatisation. Only problem is Labour members think he is a cunt. I can’t imagine why x

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