Sunak unable to condemn racist because he gave him lots of money

Politicians should never condemn their donors

The prime minister has explained he is unable to condemn a man who racially abused and fantasised about shooting Diane Abbott because the man gives lots of money to the Tory Party. Plus, he once gave Rishi a free helicopter ride that was loads of fun. Who would condemn a friend who gave them a free helicopter ride? I certainly wouldn’t.

The friend in question, Frank Hester OBE, has donated £10 million to the Conservative Party and his company has received £400 million in NHS contracts. Let’s be honest, this is an outstanding investment, isn’t it? Lefties would never think of such a clever scheme because they don’t understand corruption like Tories do. This is why they don’t deserve OBEs.

You will be pleased to know the government has resisted calls from the woke mob to give the money back to Frank because they refuse to surrender to the politics of envy.

Frank, who is considered a moderate by Tory standards, said Diane Abbott made him want to hate all black women and should be shot. To be honest, I get the impression he doesn’t need an excuse to hate all black women, but it’s nice that he found one so he could make his point without sounding unreasonable.

Frank confirmed his comments: "had nothing to do with her gender nor colour of skin” because the word “black” was referring to hair colour and he feels the same about black-haired men and even dogs. Touchingly, the Tories rallied to defend Frank, but strangely, none of them had words of support for the UK’s first black female MP.

Work and Pensions Secretary Mel Stride said: “I don’t think it was a gender or race-based comment”. However, I’m told he agrees with the government’s position that everyone who is marching for a ceasefire is basically Hamas. This is because the Tories understand racism much better than you do because they are experts at it.

Energy Minister Graham Stuart feebly conceded Frank's comments were “clearly wrong”, but said he was opposed to “cancelling anyone who has ever said anything”. However, the government is going ahead with plans to investigate teachers with socialist views and ban environmentalists and anti-war activists from speaking at universities because that kind of cancellation is fine. It’s only wrong to cancel the far-right.

The prime minister refused to call Hester’s comments racist, but he is deeply concerned that people who oppose genocide are making those who support genocide feel “unsafe”. This is because anti-violent rhetoric is clearly a call for violence whereas violent rhetoric isn’t. Rishi explained we only pretend to care about racism when we can use it as a stick to beat people who oppose racism. This is why the government is bringing in anti-extremism legislation that essentially makes it illegal to be left-wing.

The new legislation means that extremists who lack British values (lefties) cannot receive public money and will be put on a police watch list, but presumably, Hester will receive further government contracts because he espouses British (Tory) values. As you can see, the government is definitely not politicising “extremism” here.

Diane Abbott said she hopes the Labour leader will show her public support, but sadly, the Labour Party is unable to credibly condemn the racist abuse. This is because they accidentally ignored the bullies in their own party who were so racist towards Diane, they left her crying in a toilet cubicle, and then they suspended Diane when they decided she was actually racist. This is because the Labour Party also doesn’t give a shit about racism and only uses it as a stick to beat the left.

In case you didn’t know, the only people that you’re allowed to call racist in the UK are anti-racists. If you call an actual racist a racist you are being “needlessly divisive” and alienating working class voters. Working class voters are, of course, delighted by the insinuation they’re as racist as rich Tory donors x

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