In hugely exciting news, President Trump could be about to smash a glass ceiling by becoming the first known sex offender to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. His victims are said to be overcome with joy.
The odds of Trump becoming the next Nobel Peace Prize winner shot up when news of a possible Gaza ceasefire broke. Sure, it looks one of those ceasefires where Israel keeps bombing everyone, but the point is, Trump is pretending to end his genocide now.
Some people think Trump could have ended the genocide on day one of his presidency. However, Israel has loads of kompromat on him so he had to wait until 13 nukes worth of explosives had been dropped on Gaza. Now there is nothing left to bomb, Trump is giving the rubble to Tony Blair, and wants to collect his prize before he invades Iran.
I’m told the Nobel people are keen to reward Trump because playing to his ego is the best chance of stopping him from resuming the genocide and starting more idiotic wars. This line of thinking makes them as gullible as the people who attended Trump University, but you can’t blame them for trying.
It’s fair to say that if Trump arranges a fake ceasefire in Gaza, he will be the most deserving winner of a Nobel Peace Prize since Henry Kissinger. His achievement would be even more remarkable when you consider that he has had his hands full, covering up the Epstein files and framing Tyler Robinson.
Let’s not forget Trump’s previous achievements include illegally bombing Iranian nuclear sites, blowing up Venezuelan and Columbian fishermen, and using military force against all of the non-whites in his own country.
Even more impressively, Trump has put forward exciting plans to conquer Greenland. Who could be more deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize? x
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The beatings shall continue until morale improves.”
It's surely not a coincidence that there is an 'outbreak of peace' in Gaza on the very day the Nobel committee meet to decide the winner?