34 Comments
User's avatar
Mark's avatar

Alright Laura now you're being persnickety. I read your Elon entry about 4 hours ago, each and every condescending and whimsical word. But now I'll have to listen just to be certain that it's penetrating my thick and programmed American skull.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

OMG, Laura! You’re British! But I heard you swear!

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Indie's avatar

I love thus comment

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Mel's avatar

Sorry Elon, Scotland already sold to Trump whilst Northern Ireland already sold to Biden

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Lisa's avatar

Please explain?

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Antigoni Spiliadi's avatar

I think Mel is talking about Scotland selling a large piece of land to Trump so he can build one of his golf club monstrosities.

I don't know what is going on in Nothern Ireland but I have faith that Biden (aka geriatric Boy Wonder / Genocide Joe) will be getting his backside served on a platter by the Irish

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Lisa's avatar

Thanks. I've seen the comment several times now, and I've found it confusing because I've been under the distinct impression that the Scottish (generally speaking) can't stand Trump, and that the Irish (generally speaking) are repulsed by Genocide Joe.

Has Trump managed to purchase new land in Scotland, or is it the golf course he owned prior to his presidency that you're referring to? (I feel like Scottish people have to be forgiven for not knowing what Trump was, BEFORE that obscenity became a cancer on the entire globe, rather than just being a cancer on New York.)

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Antigoni Spiliadi's avatar

Hey Lisa! To my knowledge, Trump has faced such severe backlash from the locals there, that his original building plan has been placed on an indefinite hold. (yay!) I grew up in Scotland and I cannot think of anything more alien than a shiny, 'modern' (bleugh) skyscraping hotel horror in the middle of the countryside. The farmers told him on more than one occasion to 'stick his money up his arse' which made me giggle to no end!! If only you could do the same for the White House, eh?

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salahuddin c's avatar

I can't see why Elon doesn't go for the real dream team ( no, not Liz Truss and Jacob Rees-Mogg ,silly) to squeeze max wonga from mangy old GB of Nige and Kemi...especially if they became an

"item". No small boats would then head for the crumbling white cliffs and, at last, the Israeli flag could at last flutter in the drizzle over every official building to show true allegiance to the ultimate truth and destiny.

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Jennifer Akdemir's avatar

Spot on!

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Debbi Mack's avatar

I love reading your column, but love even more hearing you read it!

You're awesome!

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Lisa's avatar

I LOVE that you were able to intuit that I'm too lazy to read❣️

Some of your pieces have forced me to drag my brain — kicking & screaming — through the excruciating task of reading, REPEATEDLY! Just because they were so brilliant that they warranted a second & third reading!

THAT is the burden that your extraordinary wit has placed on me!

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Indie's avatar

I had been using the deadpan Substack AI reader but this is WAY better. I even offered to narrate them for her in my thick New Jersey accent- Ive already read several on my podcast

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Baz's avatar

Here’s an idea Elon, rebrand the Reform party to X.

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Robert Weber's avatar

FLASH: The “Long Arm” of the #Israeli-Air-Force has destroyed an #Iranian #ICBM-launching-pad in #Yemen recently used by the #Houthi-rebels as missiles aimed at #Tel-Aviv, the modern day capital of #Israel, flew by the incoming “enhanced” #Amerikan-manufactured #F-35 stealth bombers deployed by the #Israeli-Air-Force to lay down the #Hammer-O-Israel upon the wayward nefarious heads of a now soon-to-be ancient global adversary. #Bravissimo! 🦅

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Antigoni Spiliadi's avatar

Our Laura goes and does it again with her journalistic insight into the murky depths of current affairs - thank you for doing all the dirty work deciphering Elon Musk's thoughts and actions, you brave journo, you!

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Jennifer Akdemir's avatar

Elon will impose Libertarianism on the UK via fascism. Same as Thiel's agenda for the US. Luckily, as in the US, we have plenty of people stupid and malicious enough to vote for it.

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Mike Friend's avatar

This would be humour if there wasn’t a real possibility that this awful individual believes they could!

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Jennifer Akdemir's avatar

You forgot point 4 - turn what's left of Britain into a Libertarian shithole enforced by fascism. That's the plan! Amazing what ex-apartheid South Africans can achieve .....

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Krudo Kotto's avatar

He could even change the name of cities so London would become New Tesla, Manchester SpaceX City, Brighton Boring City, Liverpool Grokpool and so on....

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A. Nonymous's avatar

"I understand Musk intends to buy the UK for $100 million which is just £78 million in real money."

That's outrageous. Something like that is only possible because there is no truly free marketplace for nation states.

If all countries in the world were forced to compete on price in an unregulated global market it would quickly drive the price of the UK down to its true value - two dead rats and a piece of string - thereby again making Britain affordable for Britons.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

Israel bought the US with our own money!

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Saralyn Fosnight's avatar

You are terrific!

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Steve O’Cally's avatar

The biggest thing in the first five months of the Truss Administration was 50 days.

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