Russell Brand gains support from the internet's loudest weirdos

including women's rights activist Andrew Tate...

After four women made accusations of sexual assault against alleged comedian Russell Brand, several more women have come forward, and their claims are being “rigorously investigated”. This has prompted an outcry of support from the finest celebrities such as Laurence Fox, Beverley whatserface off GB News, Coast guy, Alex Jones, Elon Musk, and, um, Andrew Tate.

I understand Prince Andrew looked at giving Brand diplomatic immunity by adding his name to Epstein’s little black book, but authorities said they couldn’t get away with refusing to investigate another suspected predator. They also explained suiciding Brand in a cell and carting him off to a tropical island was out of the question.

King Charles looked at giving Brand a knighthood, but after the whole Sir Jimmy Saville thing, it was feared there could be a backlash from people who give a shit about sex crimes. This means Brand could be forced to try the classic tactic of paying off his accusers with £13 million and insisting he is unable to sweat.

Personally, I find it suspicious these women went to journalists instead of the Metropolitan Police who are known to rape and murder women, and assault and arrest women who protest rape and murder.

I also can’t understand why they didn’t speak out on social media, given how many men are willing to carefully hear them out before screaming “liar” and telling other men: “It could be any of us next.” That’s quite an admission to be making in a public forum!

In case you didn’t know, “innocent until proven guilty” means you should harass and intimidate women who come forward to deter your own victims from coming forward about you. As you can see, these men deeply care about justice.

Brand says he feels let down by our legal system which has protected him for years with super-injunctions and threats of libel action. Brand complained that having deep enough pockets to afford the best lawyers is not enough to silence women any more. This seems especially unfair, given Brand was always the perfect gentleman towards his alleged victims.

For example, he would ask staff to politely obtain the numbers of teenage girls in the audience so he could harass, I mean ask them out. He even got the BBC chauffeur to pick up his girlfriend from school because she was only 16-years-old and not legally allowed to drive, let alone drink or vote, but due to our consent laws, old enough to have her virginity taken by her groomer.

This was the type of behaviour which prompted The S*n to award Brand the title of “Shagger of the year” three times. Obviously, the media played no role in enabling this totally normal behaviour from a then 31-year-old star of the BBC. In case you didn’t know, this is how our national broadcaster has behaved for decades. Just ask the victims of Sir Jimmy Saville.

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