Trump declares Venezuela "liberated" now that it is sending oil to Israel
President Trump has announced that Venezuela has been “liberated” now that it is sending oil to Israel. The president, who needed a distraction from the 960,000 redactions of his name in the Epstein files, said: “This is a great day for Venezuela’s oil which gets to experience human rights for the first time in decades.”
The president added: “I hope this is enough to get you all to stop talking about the Epstein thing. If not, don’t worry, because I’m gonna let Tim Burchett open the Area 51 files”. It is unclear if there will be redactions from the Area 51 files, but Mitch McConnell is looking very nervous for some reason.
Anyways, back to the speech. The president explained: “Now that Venezuela has agreed to send oil to Israel, the drug cartels have mysteriously stopped using fishing boats, the fentanyl that wasn’t coming from Venezuela is still not coming from Venezuela, the human rights concerns are no more and we don’t expect to talk about them again.” I burst into applause, but stopped when I heard Maria Machado wailing. Poor Maria...
Maduro’s VP Delcy Rodriguez has taken the role of Venezuelan president, but she isn’t a dictator as long as she imposes the will of the empire on her people. The US has a sealed indictment that it will unseal if she ever steps out of line. If the indictment is unsealed, Rodriguez will be abducted for Israel like Maduro was. It’s the only way to protect that oil...
As you can see, Venezuela has been truly liberated, now the US is in control of the world’s largest proven oil reserves. This is how freedom and democracy works.
On another note, you will be pleased to hear that Netanyahu has arrived in Washington DC to tell Trump which country should get some democracy next. Excitingly, the goyim might be about to fight another war for the Epstein paedophile ring. I bet they can’t wait...
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Always a blast to get your right on political take. Thanks Laura. On an interesting note. I live in Australia & watched John Steward on the whole "Bad Bunny" US Superbowl half time "He sung in Spanish!" problem (we have to pay to watch Superbowl here and I'm not that excited about it).
Just for fun, I scrolled to see what people were saying on YouTube. One guy posted something along the lines of: "Speaking Spanish isn't American! And the Bible is in English, that's good enough for me!" True story! He really thinks God made the bible in English WTF. But their Jesus is white, and the apostles have names like Paul, John, Andrew, Simon and so on. So.
Reminds me of when the new Pope (who is American and born in Chicago) gave his 1st speech in Italian. The furore created through that! How unAmerican is the Pope? He gives his 1st speech in Italy speaking Italian. What an asshole, am I right????
Wait now for Marco Rubio and Cuba https://www.dropsitenews.com/p/cuba-united-states-oil-blockade-trump-mexico-claudia-sheinbaum?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email