Trump eases everyone's suspicions by saying it's no big deal Ghislaine Maxwell is a sex trafficker

President Trump showed he has a heart of gold by wishing convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell well during an HBO interview.

Strangely, Trump's interviewer objected to the well wishing on account of Maxwell being a "sex trafficker", but Trump reminded us that is no big deal. For a guy who wasn't one of Maxwell's clients, this was a perfectly natural thing to say.

Trump told the interviewer he would wish many people well if they were in prison, such as mass murderers, for example. This explains his close friendship with Benjamin Netanyahu. Trump truly is the best among us because he doesn't judge anyone, apart from the people who object to paedophilia or genocide. Those people can go fuck themselves.

Trump lamented that his friend Ghislaine's boyfriend (who coincidentally was also a sex trafficker) had died during a camera malfunction. Clearly, Trump is a man who is still in mourning and should be shown sympathy and understanding.

Also, Trump barely knew Epstein anyway. In fact, he knew him so little that he was photographed with him only four times more than that other guy who barely knew him: Prince Andrew. The 210 photos and 30 videos of Trump and Epstein together prove they were only casual acquaintances.

Photographs have emerged of Epstein at Trump's second wedding when he married someone called Maria. This is lovely because Epstein later introduced Trump to a young Melania, but definitely not in a sex trafficking way.

When Trump got bored of Maria, the young and impressionable Melania decided she wanted him for his charm, wit, and intellect. The fact she was brought to the US by an escort agent is neither here nor there. Be honest, ladies, if you were a beautiful young model, you wouldn't be able to resist a guy who looked and acted like Trump either.

Understandably, Trump was grateful to Epstein for introducing him to his fourth true love (the first three being Ivana, Maria, and himself). That's why Trump stood by Epstein when fair weather friends would have been like "fuck off, paedo, I don't want to know you".

Trump never let Epstein's shortcomings get in the way of their casual acquaintanceship. The pair bonded over wholesome pastimes such as private swimsuit contests for underage girls where they were the only men present. This was a totally normal thing for men in their forties to do.

Given there is no reason to suspect Trump was one of Epstein's clients, it has come as a great shock that Epstein's lawyer has just passed away. Incidentally, Trump recently fired the guy who prosecuted Maxwell for non-related reasons.

Excitingly, Trump has instructed Pam Bondi to cut a deal with Maxwell to ensure she exonerates Trump. This raises hopes Maxwell could soon be pardoned. What do you mean, this sounds like perverting the course of justice? Trump is simply asking his old friend for a favour!

Trump's fans understand and they are okay with a paedophile being president as long as he makes America great again. Trump bragged that he could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and pardon a known sex trafficker and still not lose any supporters. He is about to prove he has the best supporters in the world.

Pardoning Maxwell after she declares his innocence would be the least suspicious thing Trump could ever do. All the best people understand this x

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