Trump hopeful land attacks on Venezuela will distract from release of Epstein files
President Trump has decided to launch land strikes against Venezuela to stop people talking about the embarrassing stuff in the Epstein files. The CIA warns that such action could result in Russian-made missiles sinking US aircraft carriers, but Trump is more than willing to sacrifice US personnel to save his own skin. That’s patriotism for ya…
The Epstein files are to be published this Friday and the cache is so large that even Pam Bondi is unable to redact them quickly enough. The Epstein Files Transparency Act means that thousands of pages and gigabytes of data must be released by the 19 December deadline, including emails, interviews and evidence. Let’s pray they’ve blurred out Trump’s, um, mushroom, because no one needs to see that…
Friday’s revelations could be so bad that Trump will not just be bombing Venezuela, but other Latin American countries too. Given Colombia has a lefty president who thinks genocide is wrong, it’s a safe bet that Colombia is in the firing line. If bombing multiple countries doesn’t keep you distracted, Trump will probably announce the existence of aliens or something. All I’m saying is don’t be surprised if he bombs 3i Atlas…
It’s fair to say the Epstein saga is turning into an almighty mess. A batch of 100 images was released just days ago, and it’s weird because I was told Trump hardly knew Epstein, but he’s in all the photos with the young girls.
The FBI never worked out who Epstein and Maxwell’s clients were because, for some reason, the photos contain innocent men like Bill Clinton, Ehud Barak, Prince Andrew, and Steve Bannon. Basically, all the good eggs.
It’s unfortunate that such nice people mistakenly befriended a paedophile and accidentally took photos with his victims, isn’t it? Anyways, I’m sure they have nothing to fear from the remaining 95,000 photos which have been described as “disturbing” by those who’ve seen them. I’m confident that Prince Andrew is not sweating. After all, he hasn’t done anything that every other rich person hasn’t done…
One line of defence is that Epstein had photos of so many people that you “can’t possibly jail us all”. Trump explained only a tiny percentage of the pictures show him engaged in acts of paedophilia and those images are “cherry-picked” and “lack context”. The context being that he was too stupid to realise he was being filmed.
If Trump comes under fire, he might try to divert attention towards the Clintons and throw his accomplices under a bus. Bill and Hillary have been threatened with contempt of Congress proceedings if they refuse to appear for depositions, but they have an ace up their sleeve—they could throw Trump under a bus as easily as he could them. What do you mean, you’ve “got the popcorn ready”? x
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BLUR HIS DICK? NO WAY!
I wanna see that sucker in all it's puny glory. I wanna be able to download it and use it on the next No Kings protest sign I do. I want the entire Late Night TeeveeSphere to make non-stop jokes about his "manhood". I wanna give him a fucking heart attack!
The sad truth is that too many home tv viewers who will be munching their popcorn and drinking their beer while watching congressional hearings, no matter how prurient, will switch channels for the excitement of explosions and murders in the Caribbean. Thoughts of Trump’s dick (or Woody Allen’s, or Dershowitz’s!) is nauseating, but slaughter and domination gets their OWN going.