UK set to be worst performing economy in G20

This is the latest benefit of Brexit!

They said it wasn’t possible, but that legend Rishi Sunak has only gone and done it. He’s made the UK the 20th best-performing economy in the G20. Yes, we are in the top 20! I’m sure you will agree this is a staggering accomplishment.

When I highlighted the latest benefit of Brexit to my adoring Twitter followers, one of my more learned fans replied:

Nothing to do with the WEF appointed Globalist corrupt politicians, vaccine harms, lockdown policy, net zero etc? Brexit is a drop in the ocean compared to the deliberate destruction of this country by the this disgsting [sic] government and their globalist handlers.

I’m unclear why he would give those people credit for Rishi’s accomplishment, or why they would target the UK for special treatment, but if they did help, I’m extremely grateful.

It’s not all good news though.

Unfortunately, the UK is set to be outperformed by Russia which is waging a hugely expensive war and subject to western sanctions. However, Rishi has explained it’s Putin’s fault that Putin’s economy is outperforming ours.

I suspect the government is regretting letting Russian oligarchs buy half of London, but on the plus side, they made substantial donations to the Tory Party so they’re not all bad.

I’m unclear if it’s Putin’s fault or Meghan Markle’s fault that two US banks recently collapsed and Credit Suisse had to be taken over, suggesting we might see another global financial crisis. Those are the once in a lifetime events that capitalism has given millennials once every five years and those youngsters are really looking forward to another one.

Excitingly, the UK economy is set to shrink by 0.3% this year - this is a huge upgrade from the 57.9% it was set to shrink under Liz Truss and she was the best prime minister ever.

Liz is about to deliver the “Margaret Thatcher freedom lecture” at the Heritage Foundation which is like Ian Huntley delivering the Ian Brady child protection lecture in hell. I’m certain the Americans are going to learn a lot from Britain’s shortest-serving prime minister whose mini-budget collapsed our economy in a fortnight.

At the event, Liz is expected to blame “woke culture” for our high taxes which have been imposed on us by the anti-woke Tory government for the past 13 years. I’m unclear how Liz is going to square this circle, but I’m sure her attempt will be hugely entertaining. It might be even more powerful than her resignation speech when she poignantly answered questions with “Um” and gawped a bit.

Liz is expected to condemn China’s state capitalism economic model which is so dreadful that it’s achieving the best economic results of any nation on earth, year in, year out. Looks like those communist bastards have stolen the pro-growth coalition from us. No wonder Liz wants World War III.

Yes, Liz is expected to demand we declare war on China which is a massive U-turn on her previous ambition of opening up Chinese pork markets. If we’d managed to do that, I’m sure we’d have the 18th best-performing economy in the G20 at this point.

The lack of pork is killing us and if we can’t open up those markets, nuclear war is definitely a good alternative. I, for one, look forward to being incinerated in a nuclear blast to own the ungrateful lefties. Many of these snowflakes have never been blown up in a world war and it shows x

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