Viktor Orbán crushed in Hungarian election after JD Vance's "helpful" endorsement somehow tanked his campaign

In a deeply upsetting moment for fascists everywhere, Viktor Orbán’s 16-year reign of terror came to a shuddering halt after his Fidesz party suffered a humiliating landslide defeat in Hungary’s parliamentary elections on Sunday.

The man who turned “illiberal democracy” into a brand was finally shown the door by voters who had grown tired of his strongman act after more than a decade and a half. Trump and Netanyahu are said to be distraught, mourning the loss of the only world leader as open as they are about his contempt for international law.

With Orbán gone, Pinky and the Brain find themselves more isolated on the global stage, wondering who will stand with them against the evils of the ICC. Even the leaders who’ve been bribed by the Israeli lobby are distancing themselves as the war crimes mount up.

Orbán had long served as a spiritual godfather to Trump, dominating Hungarian politics since 2010 while crafting the kind of dictatorship that Iranians need to be liberated from. He was regularly accused of gerrymandering constituencies, controlling the media with an iron fist, and funnelling public funds to his cronies in a text book case of state capture. Yet in the end, he grew too incompetent to steal victory as Hungarians noticed the endless culture wars weren’t raising their living standards, after all.

When polls showed Orbán flagging in the final stretch, the Hungarian strongman played his Trump card, quite literally… I mean, what could win over voters more than an endorsement from Pope killer (and US Vice President) JD Vance?

Just days before the vote, Vance flew to Budapest, stood proudly beside Orbán at a rally, and explained that he was “here to help.” He loudly proclaimed that America needed to “get Viktor Orbán re-elected,” before launching into a tirade against the European Union for its “disgraceful” meddling in Hungarian affairs. After all, everyone knows that only the US has the right to choose other countries’ leaders. EU bureaucrats should stick to regulating the shape of cucumbers and denying Zionist war crimes.

Bafflingly, Vance’s intervention was shown the same enthusiasm that President Trump receives when he wanders into the dressing room at a beauty pageant. Voters rejected his heartfelt instructions, leaving Hungary near the top of the list of countries that need to be liberated with US bombs.

Early results show the Tisza party is set to clinch a two-thirds “supermajority” that allows the sweeping constitutional changes Trump could only dream of. Turnout was a record 79% as voters crawled over broken glass, climbed razor-wire fences, snuck past guard dogs, and dodged lasers to finally oust the Hungarian Trump—and replace him with… more of the same.

Yes, they really decided that after 16 years of crony capitalism wrapped in Christian nationalism, what their country truly needed was Péter Magyar: a former Fidesz insider, ex-husband of Orbán’s former justice minister, and one-time loyal foot soldier who experienced a road-to-Damascus moment in 2024. Suddenly, Magyar remembered he didn’t much like corruption, especially the kind that didn’t benefit him personally anymore.

Magyar, who once taped a photo of a young anti-communist Orbán to his bedroom wall as a child, spent the past two years repositioning himself as the anti-establishment crusader—and Hungarians somehow fell for it, again. What can I say? Voters can be so fucking gullible, can’t they?

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