Zero casualties as Palestine Action commits terror attacks in London, Manchester and Cardiff

A series of sickening terror attacks have occurred in London, Manchester and Cardiff in which people expressed opinions their government disapproves of. These so-called "peaceful protests" have so far resulted in zero deaths and zero injuries as well as zero damage to property. Thankfully, police officers were at the scenes to prevent further outbreaks of wrong think.

The terror attacks were so serious that no paramedics were needed, but one first aider was called due to the hot weather. Hundreds of police officers attended because it's not like they had anything better to do like respond to burglaries or investigate Prince Andrew's personal life. No, police focused on the important stuff. Thank god.

One monster shouted: "I remember when genocide was a bad thing!" and he was swiftly dragged away into a police van. Everyone who loves genocide applauded.

Today's attacks were carried out by supporters of Palestine Action, a group that no longer exists, but that you are not allowed to express approval of. If you do, you are basically waging a jihad against the politicians who are funded by the Israeli lobby.

In one horrifying incident, an elderly man held up a sign saying :"I oppose genocide. I support Palestine Action," so police officers arrested him. Personally, I don't see why they couldn't have done another Jean-Charles Demenezes. This is about public safety.

So far, over 100 terrorists have been arrested and police have said they will come down harshly on anyone who expresses the wrong opinions. Police insist this is not political and they are neutral on the Gaza genocide which is why they have arrested zero people for supporting it. The genocidal army has not been proscribed, the ones who opposed it have.

While people might argue that expressing an opinion is not terrorism, they would do well to remember that Palestine Action has splashed paint which is also not terrorism. Obviously, expressing support for non-terrorism can only be considered terrorism in a sensible country like Normal Island.

If you still doubt these people are terrorists, just know that some of them were holding their signs in front of the statue of Nelson Mandela who we used to call a terrorist because he opposed apartheid. Anyone who opposes apartheid is a terrorist.

In heart-warming news, one prominent member of Palestine Action called Roger Waters was kidnapped by police several days ago. He is presumably still being tortured until his thoughts have been corrected. If only Roger had read Normal Island News, his thoughts could have been corrected without all this pain.

Just know that as a loyal reader, you are safe from your police force. No one else is though x

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