234 Comments
User's avatar
John Wright's avatar

While not wishing to demean your obvious talent, everything is so insane that you could almost say the satire writes itself.

Normal Island News's avatar

I just copied and pasted a report from the BBC and changed about three words

John Wright's avatar

The three little words that Keep Me Sane.

Thanks.

nancy knox-bierman's avatar

lmao!! thank you for putting it all into such viciously delicious words.

Sandra Tuttle's avatar

I love the title of this piece.

Sooz Hall's avatar

👏🏻❤️👏🏻❤️👏🏻❤️

Martin's avatar

What! Nah! the BBC wrote the piece ... What next.

Vigilant Amalek Snow Leopard's avatar

It is indeed a near-impossible universe to satirize.

Adeel Mirza's avatar

So true. (Sorry normal island... )

Sol Sön's avatar

Sorry dear, you misspelled ballroom, the correct spelling is “ baalroom”.

Normal Island News's avatar

i blame my spell checker

Sol Sön's avatar

Naughty things those spell checkers, but don’t worry, mine is far worse then yours and still some people almost always mange to partially understand what I try to express.

Anyhow thank you Laura, your outstanding work is much appreciated.

Martin's avatar

Easily done ... baalroom is gaining lots of traction.

Sandra Tuttle's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 best Response 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Karen B's avatar

I was thinking….bawlroom

Bacchus's avatar

Or noballsroom.

damien flinter's avatar

Who needs Netfix with the 24/7 Donaldo Road$how.

There must be a fiction prize somewhere we can award him.

Maybe FIFA would step up to the spot.

Gez H's avatar

Shit you in the U. S. must be rich❗

The Donald Roadshow is costing your country TRILLIONS £$€.

FIFA have already awarded him the FICTION prize, do you remember, they gave him a peace Prize. 🤣

YoAdrienne's avatar

Nooo. Like you said.. it’s COSTING us Trillions via taxes.

Nonwo's avatar

We print money

damien flinter's avatar

Who's in the US?

1 out of 10 for the FIFA tautology.

Adeel Mirza's avatar

so true. The Apprentice on LSD...

Sandra Shebongsalot's avatar

It would be okay with me if I never again heard his voice or saw his image.

D Witham's avatar

Very amusing very sad.

Spunty's avatar

The weirdest shit about this whole story is that a woman would allow herself to get pregnant to Stephen Miller.

Straight Outta Compost's avatar

Maybe she didn’t allow it 🤷🏽‍♀️

DemocracyMustWin's avatar

She was enamored with felon reportedly and he loves to impregnate.

RichieRich 🇺🇸's avatar

What about her?

Is being a Kennedy really worth it..? 😎

Sooz Hall's avatar

‼️❤️‼️❤️‼️❤️

PaulW62's avatar

This is hilarious watching all you put your two cents in like a bunch of grade school children. But that's everyone of yours maturity level 🤣

Rebel Nun's avatar

Really! I can't believe it's his, Satanbot that he is. Any guesses?

Rajidahae's avatar

I'm not sure why you think these things are at odds. Look at Elon. Racial supremacists and religious supremacists alike generally are very keen on propagation as a path to power. Why do you think they want to control women's reproductive tracts so much? Why do they seem so threatened by queer folk?

Children are have the least rights of any class and are easier to indoctrinate, manipulate and abuse, so naturally they want more of them, especially ones that will be born to "the right parents."

Aside from that, for a lot of these angsty little sadists, getting a woman pregnant is the ultimate own, it's a form of dominance and perceived subservience for these creeps to infect someone with their spawn.

Rebel Nun's avatar

I guess I’m just wondering whether Miller is human.

Barry Varkel's avatar

The real question is - how many times can he sustain the fictional assassination plotline for?

Or, is the answer - indefinitely - on account of Americans suffering from the Pfizer covid injection side-effect of dumbfuckery?

Martin's avatar

His supporter base will swallow any shit they get from trumpstein.

Barry Varkel's avatar

Trumpstein...what a hilarious contraction, Martin ;))

Martin's avatar

I just repeated something I saw in a comment a few months back.

Sandra Tuttle's avatar

Well, I give him partial credit, only two out of three were fake.

The one with Kirk was 4 real.

Barry Varkel's avatar

Kirk was a proper hit with the defined purpose of elimination.

USA, for all the BS bluster of rights, really is just another frontier justice venue - which makes perfect sense.

In any hunt, the hunter can become the hunted - so I'm waiting for the Iranian sleeper cells to be activated in the event Jewish America doesn't get its way on paper.

AuDHD AllyCat's avatar

Perhaps the real question should be - will one of the fake assassins accidentally actually succeed?

Barry Varkel's avatar

That's really funny - as in the world's-dumbest-biggest-spazzer fake assassin, who makes a rudimentary mistake, and inadvertently gets the lead right between Trump's pigeon looking eyes. That would truly be a mastercard moment.

Dean's avatar

We can only dream....

Hudson E Baldwin lll's avatar

That last statement is satire, right?

PaulW62's avatar

Until you unhinged little fucks quit trying!

MJ Lambert's avatar

“covid injection side-effect of dumbfuckery”🤣🤣🤣

Martin's avatar

As I wrote in my Substack (I hope folk will visit) I wrote this yesterday:

False flag by programmed patsy? There are some odd details emerging about Trump’s would-be shooter:

Investigators are treating Cole Thomas Allen’s attack on the White House Correspondents Dinner as a “lone wolf” incident, providing vague info about his “anarchist” views, and a $25 donation to Kamala Harris’s 2024 campaign.

The real investigation is taking place online, where OSINT sleuths have already put together a “curious” collection of evidence icluding Karoline Leavitt’s joke that “some shots” would be “fired tonight in the room” during Trump’s speech (link below).

https://t.me/geopolitics_prime/68810

In America you can't bring a bottle of water or even nail clippers inside a plane without security noticing, but someone somehow managed to sneak in a gun at a White House dinner with the president... And obviously failed in the target.

As always in America - “The show must go on, the clowns need to keep the circus running”.

Rebel Nun's avatar

The early reports say that the shooter was carrying "guns and knives". It's ludicrous that he could have gotten that far.

Martin's avatar

I think you miss the point. This was staged. He got as far as they wanted him to. Just watch some of the videos circulating. As I wrote: "The show must go on, the clowns need to keep the circus running” ... and people continue to swallow the S^^t put out by the lagacy media and the trumpstein administration.

Rebel Nun's avatar

That's what I was confirming; Sorry if I wasn't clear.

Amaterasu Solar's avatar

Totally psyop. Part of the performance on the cave wall the moneyed psychopaths in control on Our planet (by virtue of money) put on for Us as "reality," casting sandy hooks into Our emotions and dragging Us where They want Us - with Their live props (bombs, etc.) and participatory audience.

Your Attention is Worth More to Them than Money (article): https://amaterasusolar.substack.com/p/your-attention-is-worth-more-to-them

TS's avatar
Apr 27Edited

The dinner was being held in one part of the hotel. The rest was open to the public. The "shooter" charged through a metal detector in the public part and ran up the stairs to a different floor than the dinner was on, firing at a policeman and hitting his vest.

He had a shotgun, a handgun, and a knife, in the last accounting of his weapons. (That may change. It often does).

He did not then die in a hail of police bullets (thankfully), though he is Black. I don't know why they stripped him naked and he had to lie on the hotel floor. What is with these people?

The shooter's background is so far from such a stupid plan, I'm starting to believe MKULTRA mind control experiments really did work.

Lisa's avatar

Truly outstanding journalism!

Oops, I mean... antisemite!!!!!

Davina's avatar

Again, my first thought was false, just like the others. I look forward to the day a trained assassine enters the picture for real, someone who does their homework etc. Which a true assassin would ob piously do.

The other point is: why was Vance got in out so fast, it looked like that security guy was standing within hands on the chair ready to get Vance away before anyone heard a shot being fired.

Weird seeing Melania crawl out o hands and knees 🤣🤣🤣

Hudson E Baldwin lll's avatar

She's used to being on her knees..

Phillip T Stephens's avatar

This is not humor. Seriously. Most people I’ve spoken to think it’s a hoax to justify his ballroom or are deeply disturbed that he’s made the accusation credible. Given the total lack of competence in the people he hires, a real assassin would have had time to shoot everyone in the room before someone thought to call the cops.

Slightly Lucid's avatar

So, someone may have tried to shoot Trump and the world collectively shrugged.

Lenny Cavallaro's avatar

From what cesspool does the US dredge up its alleged assassins? Why do so many of them leave behind a paper trail that would surely condemn them? Just asking...

Sher''s avatar

I know...in my head I hear Carrie from " Sex In The City " say: " And I couldnt help but wonder...where are the professionals?"....

Rebel Nun's avatar

The most hilarious thing I've read (besides Laura) was the early MSM reports that said "the motive is unknown". Now that writer has a sense of humor.

C Woody's avatar

Maybe Nasa man flew in to the Whitehouse grounds past all the security details, cameras, sensors, dogs and satellite surveillance with one of those undetectable powered parachute things that the “bad guys” used on October 8 a few years ago in Israel. Back when the most surveilled border in the world was breached. They were like stealth powered parachutes. Or maybe the Whitehouse uses the same mall cop security contractors as Israel.. Or maybe they just think they have dumbed down the population enough with jabs, meds, poison food, social media,aerial spraying and 5g that they can pass these extremely low production events off to a population who just accepts what they are told. They need new writers, I mean seriously back in the old days they would knock buildings down to get their plans in motion. Now they are just teasing us with reruns of The Apprentice.

TS's avatar

The dinner is at a public hotel.

Ron Dee's avatar

More smoke and mirrors from the Mossad.

NSAs_cancer's avatar

It’s worse than that as the Whitehouse capital buildings were meant to be destroyed on 9/11 but that plan failed - ever since they have been upgrading and renovating buildings as a plan b

TS's avatar

The 4th plane was supposed to hit World Trade Tower 6, where all the SEC investigation records were held. When the plane was shot down by a fighter pilot doing his actual job, (the detritus spread across miles), the building came straight down at 5:20 pm that evening, twenty minutes after a BBC news person announced it had come down while you could still see it standing behind her.