After trashing UK, far right seek violence against those who "don't respect our laws"

The far right totally respect our laws...

These past couple of weeks have been super-exciting for the people who wanted an excuse to destroy their country so badly, they pretended Muslims and immigrants were destroying their country, leaving them with no choice but to destroy their country. The men who piss down their leg when they’re stumbling out of Wetherspoons are definitely our sharpest minds. Everything they do makes perfect sense…

Upset about the white working class being left behind? Why not burn burn down your Citizen’s Advice Bureau? Mad that people with melanin make all the best food? Maybe smash the window of the Indian restaurant? Disgusted an African nurse wants to fix your broken arm? Refuse that plaster cast like a real man, that’ll show her!

Someone needs to make a stand, and what better way to make a stand than do all the things you claim to disapprove of, for the very worst of reasons? That’s what patriots would do!

The anti-immigration protests were whipped up by Irish immigrant Tommy Robinson who tried and failed to gain asylum in the United States and now spends his days failing to respect our laws in a respectable way, by which I mean he’s white and racist so we embraced him. Tommy has built up an army of loyal yobs who see him as their general, which is impressive considering he’s the size of a ten year old. Tommy is like a modern day Napoleon, only he hides on a beach in Cyprus while his drunk friends get sent to jail for him.

Tommy can’t take all of the credit for trashing our country in the name of self-defence though. The riots were the culmination of our political class telling you small boats are the reason they’re not funding your NHS and refugees on £35 a week are the reason veterans are sleeping on our streets.

As rioters broke our laws in protest at the people who fail to respect our laws, social media users dutifully spoke of “Farage riots”, much to the relief of Sir Keir Starmer, who has used the same language as Farage, but is thankfully off the hook. Moderates prefer to believe our problems are down to one man, rather than our entire political establishment, just like fascists believe everything is down to people fleeing the countries we’ve just bombed. All that matters is the people with the power to make a difference are absolved of responsibility. We wouldn’t want our leaders to be held accountable, would we?

Well, actually, we would! Just bear with me, I was initially confused too…

Now that we’ve shifted the conversation towards the far right, we’ve decided it’s time to move into all-out fascism. Step forward Douglas Murray, associate editor of the Spectator, and contributor to the BBC, the Times, the Daily Telegraph, the Sun, the Daily Mail, New York Post, National Review, the Free Press, and UnHerd. Douglas is basically the male version of me, but nowhere near as talented. Let’s be honest, no one is.

The man who is a regular contributor to all of our mainstream media wants the government to do whatever it takes to get the non-whites out. It's unclear if he also means the rich ones like the Sunaks, but the likes of Zarah Sultana can definitely go.

Remember when Zarah said our entire media and political class are the problem? Well, Zarah is the real problem because she wants us to call the anti-immigration protests “racist and Islamophobic riots”, just because that is what they are. Thank god our media prefers to platform people like Murray who is one of the BBC’s favourites because he wears an expensive suit and uses big words to spread racial hatred. He is basically Tommy Robinson without the brain damage, or Michael Gove without the coke habit, or Boris Johnson when he’s taken a bath, or David Baddiel when he washes off the blackface. We love Douglas at the BBC because he makes fascism respectable, unlike his anti-fascist critics who don’t sound posh and dye their hair blue and say hello to people with darker skin than them. Fucking lunatics. Next time a non-white person commits a crime, it’s not just the fault of all non-white people (apart from the rich ones), it’s also the fault of white people who don’t hate non-white people who aren’t rich!

Thankfully, Douglas Murray is nothing like the weirdos who aren’t racist, and he did an interview in which he delivered his racism with all the confidence of a man who knows the British establishment privately agrees with him, even if normal people don’t. Given that normal people are basically Hamas, this is definitely a good thing.

Murray just came out and said he does not want immigrants here and that if the army won’t sort them out, the British public (Tommy Robinson’s 12 drinking buddies) will have to sort them out and it will be brutal. We have already seen lynchings on our streets, but I don’t think that was enough for Douglas who seems desperate to make pogroms cool again.

All those foreigners are violent and dangerous, so we must show we’re better than them by resorting to, um… violence? If this all sounds a bit much, I would remind you Douglas spoke with a posh voice and used big words that you’re too stupid to understand. Remember that time you were unsure whether to vote for Corbyn or Johnson, but then Johnson spoke Latin and you were sold? It’s just like that.

Murray is one of the most well-read proponents of the great replacement theory, by which I mean he’s the only one who can read and therefore an intellectual. He once hosted Piers Morgan’s show because Piers wanted someone to the left of him to fill in while he went on holiday, meaning Murray is also a moderate. He is one of the biggest cheerleaders of the Gaza genocide and has made comments such as “conditions for Muslims in Europe must be made harder across the board”. He laments the war on white people which involves normal people telling racists to stop being racist. He argues whites are becoming a minority in our cities because he sometimes encounters people from the 120 countries we’ve colonised. He insists Islamophobia isn’t real, which is confusing because he seems super-proud of his Islamophobia and says things like “France has too much Islam”. As you can see, Douglas is super nice and everyone who matters wants him in this country. No wonder the BBC regular platforms the likes of him and Farage, but thinks the people at Novara Media are a bit too racist.

You will be reassured to hear Murray has been defended by all the best people, such as Suella Braverman who says he has “mainstream, insightful and perfectly decent political views.” Murray’s views are so mainstream that when his friends came to riot in Walthamstow, ten times as many counter-protesters came to chase them away. It seems the army will have to take on the entire country at this rate, leaving just Douglas Murray, Laurence Fox, Lee Anderson, and the guy who was bit on the arse by a police dog, as well as several dozen barely sentient organisms who see this group as leaders - and me, of course (Tommy is staying in Cyprus).

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait until we get rid of all the people who aren’t racist, and we’re stuck on this island with only the people who are. It’s gonna be super-fun until we realise we have no one left to hate and inevitably turn against each other. That’s when things could get really awkward. I'll probably have to seek asylum elsewhere x

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