160 Comments
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Philippa Rees's avatar

Jesus sees a black man weeping outside a Church door.

'What aileth' he asks

'They won't let me in'

'I wouldn't worry. They have not let ME in for decades. Now I prefer to stay outside. Come'

Dianne Bryant's avatar

It is good go with Jesus!

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May 10, 2025
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Mitch Ritter's avatar

Must be a typo. "Current Dei Christians are the stupidest people in his\herstory of Christian humanity...."

Tio Mitchito

Martha Olivares's avatar

Nothing more valid than absolutes, “opinions” that calcify in the mind of the holder, allowing for no OTHER (inferior) thoughts… 🤦🏻‍♀️

Kenneth Schmidt's avatar

How many blacks are thrown out of majority white churches in the US? I would think that such a thing would be very rare.

Philippa Rees's avatar

You can read a story literally ( as you seem to have done) or metaphorically, as most others have. 'Black' as in 'blackened' by being 'other', and repudiated for it, refused entry for it. The current church (Catholic, Anglican, non-conformist) has 'othered' a great many people who believe themselves Christian- see Ukraine right now.

Kenneth Schmidt's avatar

Ukraine is ruled by a corrupt perfidious jew.

Damon Bunce's avatar

The bible is Allergorical NOT literal.

Yes Metaphorical, Symbolic and mythology, no one lived in the bible.

Christopher Fogarty's avatar

While Catholics, like everyone else, are sinners, IMO it is unlikely that any Catholic congregation excludes anyone.

Dianne Bryant's avatar

If humans had eyes that see then they would automatically see God in everything.

Jennifer Akdemir's avatar

Excellent satire, as always! Right wing Americans are members of the Church of the "Free" market. They certainly don't want some brown Middle Eastern dude spoiling it all with his teachings about feeding people and loving your neighbour.

Dx's avatar

That peskie Palestinian refugee freedom-fighter: turning over the money-lenders' tables, handing out free healthcare, catering at weddings, inciting empathy... Jesus H Christ!

Mitch Ritter's avatar

Peskie Palestinian who sought refuge on a low-rent cross was "Smart-Ah as Dei say...." cuz he played both sides in taking a Roman muddle name: Horatio! Our loser of a Commie Christian Presidential candidate dba 38th VP & Fast-Rising Collapsable Napalm-maddened Senator Hubert H. Humphrey, Jr of Minnesota pulled the same stunt!

Tio Mitchito

poetinapaperbag's avatar

Yes ..Lip service is comforting to the credulous, isn't it?

Rebel Nun's avatar

These documents are fiction from the fifth century or later. They were debunked centuries ago. They’re also pure racism.

JKV's avatar

You are sadly either delusional or brainwashed!

William Bowles's avatar

If Jesus descended to Earth today, they'd lock him up for being a Commie, pinko, fag-loving, do-gooer, illegal alien bastard, before deporting him. So there!

Rebel Nun's avatar

And murder him as a Palestinian terrorist, like before.

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May 10, 2025
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William Bowles's avatar

But totally understandable. When all else fails, religion gives comfort, calms the fears and supplies a sense of belonging when the world seems incomprehensible. For myself, I've never believed in the supernatural since I was a small child, the universe supplies more than enough awe for me.

Damon Bunce's avatar

He didn't, he never lived, Jesus is a personification, Metaphor, for the Sun in the sky as translated by the Greeks.

William Bowles's avatar

I'm sure you're correct, however, it doesn't really change much does it, a metaphor for the ages.

Courageous Lion's avatar

They would have to make up all those charges. Well, I guess that's the point.

William Bowles's avatar

Make them up? No, I don't think so, for example, consider his view on stock exchanges (money changers) or his view of the rich (eye of the needle etc). I think he'd be locked up sharpish and he would say, 'but I don't understand'.

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May 10, 2025Edited
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William Bowles's avatar

But what of Liberation Theology? Do you condemn it too?

Mike Gallacher's avatar

And hasn’t Christ been demoted by MAGA for being too woke.

Rebel Nun's avatar

Replaced by Trump.

Steve O’Cally's avatar

There was, sorry to sound judgmental, but a mouthy little Rabbi with anger issues, who said:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.”

Fortunately, Homeland Security got him.

Steve O’Cally's avatar

PS: That would mean Catholics can call JD Vance “Child of Hell II”

Courageous Lion's avatar

Rabbi? He was a carpenter. And he was against the "rabbi's" of the day. Oh wait, more satire. I get it. I think.

Rebel Nun's avatar

In the Gospels, His followers address Him as “Rabbi”.

Clare Willison's avatar

As pope, Trump would make a Borgia blush

Rebel Nun's avatar

Laura, you will always be the Virgin Mary to me. Love to the little Messiah ❤️

Martina Lauer's avatar

Is he good news for Palestine or too close to the US position?

Little Nell's avatar

That is the foremost question in my mind.

The Revolution Continues's avatar

I wonder about his stance on Palestine too. Is he calling the last remaining church in Gaza every night like Francis did? That would be a good sign.

Rebel Nun's avatar

He should be excellent news for Palestine. He was Francis’ protege.

Jerry Glazer's avatar

Wow! An outstanding, well written essay, and an engaging article about the Pope, Trump, and Catholicism. Great piece of writing.

Jane D's avatar

Ooof! A biting article. Very good. I love the irony of this whole true story. It’s good to have a bit of divine intervention in the midst of it all

Charles Lambdin's avatar

The original Jesus was literally a communist leading an anti-class, anti-empire movement. Converts had to give their wealth away to join the--wait for it--"commune", to enter into "communion". Modern Jesus is more descendant from the Roman empire's reinvention of Christianity as a national, imperial religion.

The Revolution Continues's avatar

"Who the hell are we gonna blame for the failures of capitalism, if not the most desperate people on earth?"

There's the thrust of this. We've gotta keep all those refugee and other poor folks desperate so we capitalists can use them as scapegoats, don't you know... It's what Jesus would have wanted. None of that "Blessed are the poor" stuff anymore! We need Pope Donald the Orange! *satire*

Baz's avatar

No wonder America loves Jesus. Wasn’t Christianity invented to boost the economy in December?

Thomas Cleary's avatar

There’s unfortunately quite a bit of truth in what you say.

Lononaut's avatar

You can’t handle the truth!

Wendi Gordon's avatar

Love this post and restacked it with a note. Thanks for the laugh!

Marirose NightSong's avatar

Agreed. Except his name prior to being a Pope was Robert Francis (yep!) Prevost (not Provost).