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Philippa Rees's avatar

Jesus sees a black man weeping outside a Church door.

'What aileth' he asks

'They won't let me in'

'I wouldn't worry. They have not let ME in for decades. Now I prefer to stay outside. Come'

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Dianne Bryant's avatar

It is good go with Jesus!

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0G_Sensei's avatar

Current day Christians are the stupidest people in the history of mankind.

https://substack.com/@0gsensei/note/c-115918813?r=5c0oec&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

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soulstar's avatar

Trump could be the Poop. I think it's similar bit more suitable for him.

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Anark Whelm's avatar

But the poop is the shit and the shit rules. Trump can just stay as what his name is already: 🍑💨

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Jennifer Akdemir's avatar

Excellent satire, as always! Right wing Americans are members of the Church of the "Free" market. They certainly don't want some brown Middle Eastern dude spoiling it all with his teachings about feeding people and loving your neighbour.

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Dx's avatar
5hEdited

That peskie Palestinian refugee freedom-fighter: turning over the money-lenders' tables, handing out free healthcare, catering at weddings, inciting empathy... Jesus H Christ!

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Rebel Nun's avatar

These documents are fiction from the fifth century or later. They were debunked centuries ago. They’re also pure racism.

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William Bowles's avatar

If Jesus descended to Earth today, they'd lock him up for being a Commie, pinko, fag-loving, do-gooer, illegal alien bastard, before deporting him. So there!

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Rebel Nun's avatar

And murder him as a Palestinian terrorist, like before.

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0G_Sensei's avatar

There will never be a group of people more stupid than Christians.

https://youtube.com/shorts/yLz7om5qp0M?si=4Mb4XEV76fD1RKyX

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Courageous Lion's avatar

They would have to make up all those charges. Well, I guess that's the point.

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Mike Gallacher's avatar

And hasn’t Christ been demoted by MAGA for being too woke.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

Replaced by Trump.

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Clare Willison's avatar

As pope, Trump would make a Borgia blush

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Martina Lauer's avatar

Is he good news for Palestine or too close to the US position?

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Little Nell's avatar

That is the foremost question in my mind.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

He should be excellent news for Palestine. He was Francis’ protege.

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The Revolution Continues's avatar

I wonder about his stance on Palestine too. Is he calling the last remaining church in Gaza every night like Francis did? That would be a good sign.

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Steve O’Cally's avatar

There was, sorry to sound judgmental, but a mouthy little Rabbi with anger issues, who said:

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.

Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.”

Fortunately, Homeland Security got him.

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Steve O’Cally's avatar

PS: That would mean Catholics can call JD Vance “Child of Hell II”

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Rebel Nun's avatar

👏👏👏🙏

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Courageous Lion's avatar

Rabbi? He was a carpenter. And he was against the "rabbi's" of the day. Oh wait, more satire. I get it. I think.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

In the Gospels, His followers address Him as “Rabbi”.

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Rebel Nun's avatar

Laura, you will always be the Virgin Mary to me. Love to the little Messiah ❤️

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Jerry Glazer's avatar

Wow! An outstanding, well written essay, and an engaging article about the Pope, Trump, and Catholicism. Great piece of writing.

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Jane D's avatar

Ooof! A biting article. Very good. I love the irony of this whole true story. It’s good to have a bit of divine intervention in the midst of it all

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Thomas Cleary's avatar

There’s unfortunately quite a bit of truth in what you say.

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Wendi Gordon's avatar

Love this post and restacked it with a note. Thanks for the laugh!

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Dave Spencer's avatar

Excellent sarcasm! We need more like Pope Francis, and I think there is a perfect example in the new one...

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Charles Lambdin's avatar

The original Jesus was literally a communist leading an anti-class, anti-empire movement. Converts had to give their wealth away to join the--wait for it--"commune", to enter into "communion". Modern Jesus is more descendant from the Roman empire's reinvention of Christianity as a national, imperial religion.

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Baz's avatar

No wonder America loves Jesus. Wasn’t Christianity invented to boost the economy in December?

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