Elon is so weird that he was even rejected by the paedophiles at Epstein Island

You probably thought nothing could be worse than being a paedophile who owns dungeons and Satanic temples and a private rape island and abducts girls and eats babies, but imagine being the person who begged to join his parties and was rejected for being too creepy. That is sadly the position that Elon Musk found himself in.

Poor Elon.

The Epstein files have suggested that despite his claims of rejecting invites to Epstein island, Elon actually attended parties and kept scaring the girls. Given these girls were constantly raped, it’s hard to imagine what sort of behaviour might have been considered inappropriate here. The mind truly boggles!

The guests at Epstein island watched babies being dismembered and ate their flesh, but they drew the line at hanging around with Elon Musk. They were happy to murder the women they raped, but they were like, “Sheez, I have standards, ya know!” They posed for pictures with underage victims of sex trafficking, but they were like “being pictured with Elon would be too damaging to my reputation”.

Elon got so creepy that he kept emailing Epstein, begging to be invited to his “wildest parties”, even after Epstein had been released from prison for sex crimes and everyone knew he partied with underage girls.

Ghislaine Maxwell replied to the email, explaining they are winding down the Little St James operation, but she will let Elon know if they ever resume it. Yes, they actually pretended they were putting an end to their paedophole ring because one of their friends was too much for them. Elon just didn’t understand the paedo etiquette, it seems.

Poor Elon found himself in a position where no one wanted to be his friend, not even paedophiles. Now you understand why he spent so much money buying Twitter. It was the biggest overcompensation effort in history. It was even worse than Andrew Tate showing off all those sports cars to stop Greta making fun of his manhood.

Elon is now so worried about the latest batch of Epstein files that he has ordered Grok to play things down. No matter what question you ask Grok, you get pages of legal speak about how all of these claims are unsubstantiated, Epstein trafficked women only to himself, and there is nothing to see here. Obviously, this is the least suspicious thing Elon could have possibly done.

Elon spent years tweeting about Pakistani grooming gangs, but strangely, he never posts about the Israeli grooming gang. Presumably, it’s because he hopes Epstein is secretly still alive and he can one day be his friend. I’m rooting for you to be reunited with him, Elon, I truly am.

At present, Elon is a lost soul. He alienated 99% of the population and just wanted a tiny cult of weirdos where he could fit in, but even the world’s weirdest cult had no room for him. Elon is a broken man, but at least he can console himself with the fact he is the world’s richest Billy no mates. Bless him.

---

Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! Your support is hugely appreciated x