117 Comments
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Ohio Barbarian's avatar

He can always go make love to that old wall in Jerusalem. I understand it never rejects anyone so long as they're wearing a beanie.

Anthony Brooks-Sands's avatar

Hahaha ………I actually laughed ……..😂 😆 😂

Greetings from Hamburg

your Anthony

nancy knox-bierman's avatar

Ditto. Laughed out loud.

cmdr cool's avatar

fucking savages

Jim's avatar

Well played

Hart Cunningham's avatar

What USA thinks it's #1 in (and its actual rankings):

Life Expectancy: 46th

FreePress: 42nd

Healthcare: 30th

Education: 26th

Happiness: 23rd

Freedom: 17th

What the USA is #1 in:

Military Spending

Number of Billionaires

Incarceration

Bankruptcy filings

Medical debt

Gun deaths

Funding israel

susan cartwright's avatar

Great list. Sad list.

Billionaires know that U.S government war and weapons funding s endless easy money. But there must be war to justify all this armaments expenditure

Runaway military spending is driving America into non-stop foreign wars.

Can't afford healthcare, medications, housing, or infrastructure though. Not when war is so lucrative.

The Imperial Boomerang = surveillance, repression, and violence developed by the US to control foreign populations will eventually "boomerang" back and be used against its own citizens. That's happening now.

War of the oligarchy's creation is bankrupting the nation. We can see what's happening but we have no idea how to stop it.

The Revolution Continues's avatar

We do have an idea how to stop it--we just need the guts to do it. General Strike!

Rebel Nun's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

But all those other “countries” are just future US states!

Emily's avatar

That’s the US media. Americans are well aware, we live this list. No lies detected.

Feral Finster's avatar

Doesn't matter. What matters is power.

vm's avatar

No mystery. EM can't keep his 👄 shut.

Magic Girl's avatar

Elon never progressed from being a hyperactive child! He just keeps that on!

wilter downs's avatar

Elon is a loser with a creepy breeding kink who worships Israel.

White South Africans like Elon and Thiel should have had all of their stolen family's wealth expropriated after the fall of apartheid. The world would be a much better place.

cmdr cool's avatar

so they're taking the south african apartheid on a road showing

Willy & Bill's avatar

I’m sure it was all terribly innocent. Cucumber sandwiches cut with military precision, crusts off, napkins folded into little swans, and a leisurely game of cricket where everyone politely pretends to know the rules. Tea poured, nods exchanged, someone saying “marvellous weather for it” even though it’s spitting sideways. Perfectly normal Sunday stuff.

And honestly, if that’s the plan, would you really want Elon Musk there? Be honest with yourself. You’re halfway through a sponge cake, someone’s just bowled a decent over, and suddenly he’s explaining that cricket would be better on Mars because the lower gravity improves spin rate. You’re trapped at silly mid-off while he’s drawing rockets in the condensation on the teapot.

Don’t get me wrong, please do, but the man does not do light conversation. You ask how his weekend’s been and he’s ten minutes deep into a theory about replacing umpires with neural networks and launching the pavilion into low Earth orbit. Someone mentions bees and he’s muttering about robot pollinators while rearranging the cutlery into a launch formation. It’s exhausting. You just wanted a sandwich.

Everyone else is chatting about the state of the pitch, maybe grumbling about the train service, and there he is, staring into the middle distance, whispering about civilisation collapse because the jam is strawberry not raspberry. Even the dog looks uncomfortable. Even the dog has had enough.

At that point you start thinking, maybe the chatbot would be easier company. At least it laughs in the right places and doesn’t try to sell you a vision of the future halfway through pudding. At least it lets you finish a sentence before declaring humanity obsolete.

So yes, I’m sure it was all very polite and terribly British. Tea, cricket, mild sunburn, existential dread kept to a minimum. And if someone quietly decided that one guest might disrupt the vibe, well, that’s not exclusion. That’s hosting. Willy would call it basic social survival.

Franz Kafka's avatar

Musk's Jewish grandaddy in Canada was one of the founders, along with Maurice Strong, of the Technocracy Movement. ‘Better living through CRISPR.’ He also helped found Net Zero of which Carney is a disciple.

So, Elon comes from generations of rich, evil and crazy-stupid. That kind of 'twisted' is hard to come by as, if you do not have a lot of money to back it, you end up in an insane asylum, or, since they were all shut down, in a cardboard box under a bridge.

cmdr cool's avatar

net zero was huge wow elon silver spoon

Baz's avatar

Great summary there boys - yous didn’t mention the geezer owns 9,400 satellites.

Willy & Bill's avatar

We are working on a piece about. Out later this week hopefully.

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Imagine how many voicemails this creep leaves for the sexy new intern at Space-X. "Hi, it's me again. I hope you're not dodging my calls. I thought we had a real connection. Please get back to me. I know you're home, by the way. And I really like that top you're wearing."

Rebel Nun's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏

I flash for the guy(s) every day. I figure that since I’m 74, it will encourage them to disconnect my spycam.

Baz's avatar

Erm…RN, not entirely sure your strategy wouldn’t in fact have the opposite effect.

Rebel Nun's avatar

Your elders appreciate you 💐

Franz Kafka's avatar

Some tribes, more than others, have a way of making sexual predation look cool.

There is an entire 'Industry' in California which is charged mainly, with that exact task.

That and keeping the population stupid and passive, with occasional, pathological outbursts of violence and anger.

Kathleen McCroskey's avatar

Move the letters around and his name becomes Lone Smuk.

Franz Kafka's avatar

Elon is probably a Hermaphrodite. This is complicated by the fact that he is also a moron. Pay no attention to the 'genius' label, the Family just had tons of Mafia money and paid for PR.

That is the case with most Oligarchs who are also psychopaths. They pay lot of money to more or less normal people who then convince you that they are not Morons and Psychopaths but Geniuses and Philanthropists.

There may be exceptions to that rule but I do not know of any.

elena the red's avatar

More than one baby momma that “connected” with him irl has said “micropenis”

Franz Kafka's avatar

Is that like MKUltra-penis? Frankly, Katy looks like she uses something other than penises for pleasure. Barbed wire, thumb-screws and cast iron restraints come to mind.

turbomunch's avatar

Joe Rogan literally nuts in excitement everytime he has him on his POD…. Another bought shill…. Makes me wince

cmdr cool's avatar

israel owns rogan?

Rebel Nun's avatar

Yep! He paid millions to the designers of the Tesla to swear that he had designed it. He probably couldn’t design a light switch.

Franz Kafka's avatar

I am not sure he knows what a ‘light switch’ is, let alone how it works.

Rebel Nun's avatar

Or maybe he doesn’t need light switches - his eyes probably glow in the dark like two fiery windows into hell.

Rebel Nun's avatar

lol! He probably has his servants do it for him.

cmdr cool's avatar

very interesting - he probably can't even code, musk

Massimo's avatar

Thank you Laura, in this shitty world you are one of the few that manages to put a smile on my face. The problem is that what you write is not a parody of this world, but the real unfiltered truth. xxx Massimo

Anthony Dunn's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

thewaterdiviner's avatar

Maybe he likes little boys.

Anthony Dunn's avatar

I would imagine he has a wide variety of silicon machine options; animal, vegetable, mineral - implants and who knows what. He runs a Frankenstein laboratory. Perhaps this was the kind of thing he wished to introduce to Epstein's circle that put him beyond the pale, even to them.

BTW, Musk says Eric Emerson Schmidt, the former CEO of Google is deeply weird. One can't help but wonder how deep the levels of weirdness go among these people 😱

Franz Kafka's avatar

They are all Satanists, so as deep as Hell itself, which I have heard is bottomless.

Rebel Nun's avatar

I think you’ve got it, Anthony! The transhuman kink. Or maybe he wanted them all to have his babies. No pregnancy allowed there; with the Pro-Life POTUS, it was abort or die.

Magic Girl's avatar

I have been SHOCKED about the absence of boys. I mean, what with all the diverse appetites out there, you'd think they'd at least have had a boy division in that operation!

elena the red's avatar

No lack of boys!

Have you not heard the account of Sascha Riley adopted to be trafficked and Trump was one of his rapists?

No lack of boys and even most of the girls were children they just focus on the teen girls in the msm

Magic Girl's avatar

That’s is true, the focus on mainly white females, mostly from the US. Yes, I saw the Sascha Riley story, but that’s the only one I’ve seen. Do males complain less or wait decades to spill? I don’t know. There’s a lot that is used to dress this thing up in the media for a salacious fantasy fest, mainly vanilla hetero, but the majority of whatever this operation was about is and will likely remain unknown.

elena the red's avatar

Definitely more than one boy and yes males are even more reluctant to report sexual abuse than females

susan cartwright's avatar

Took 50 years before my pal reported & sued Lord Mountbatten. He nailed Arthur Smythe and 28 others in that one orphanage.

Smythe sued Mountbatten & when his lawyer subpoenaed the Kincora orphanage files where the boys were abused,

M16 immediately stepped in and classified those files for 100 years.

The Royal Family (like all the uber rich) are protected from consequences.

Magic Girl's avatar

Most mainstreamed people don’t like to talk about boys and men, they prefer the fantasy of men with child brides. Old as the hills. Old as human existence.

thewaterdiviner's avatar

But it's something they might not admit to the other perpetrators. It's not very 'alpha male', is it? My family allowed me to be abused by my 'stepfather' for nearly ten years, rather than stop it, due to the risk to the family reputation. I'm quite sure if I was a girl it would have been different. Just an extra layer of shame for the victims.

Magic Girl's avatar

That’s terrible, Mark. I would have stopped it. It’s terribly damaging. I’m sorry you experienced this, really.

thewaterdiviner's avatar

I think it's still going on. When I tried to talk about it with my ‘family’ recently, they tried to have me sectioned. That failed so they told the police I had threatened to k1ll someone! That had serious repercussions. We don't talk any more, but I'm now investigating my own family. My aunt's descendants.

Magic Girl's avatar

Wow, that’s a horrific situation. Again, I am truly sorry. When that abuse was allowed to continue on you because of preserving a family reputation, and I do understand that years ago it was very common to keep your mouth shut, and I do understand the claims that some people abused by rich and powerful people get threats against their lives if they speak out, it’s exactly this silence, like in the Mafia, that keeps these crimes going with impunity. As I said, I would have tried to stop what was happening to you regardless of “reputations” or “threats” from family, because what happened to you was a crime. Against humanity. When we do not stand up, everything falls down around us. Please take good care of yourself.

thewaterdiviner's avatar

Thank you for your kind words. I still do not understand these people. Deeply Christian, well educated, wealthy, well connected. When I was a child I remember the numerous Benedictine minis visiting my uncle's house. I also remember black candles being set on the dining table and my aunt(a tertiary nun) giggling about it because the next Benedictine visitors were from Africa and we're black. Like the candles.

They were also politically connected. That's something I am still trying to investigate. But too much time spent doing that affects my mental health, so I have to take break, sometimes for months.

Rebel Nun's avatar

OMG. Bless you, and thank you for all you’ve done to pull yourself up and be an inspiration and a witness. 🙏❤️

𝓙𝓪𝓼𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓦𝓸𝓵𝓯𝓮's avatar

🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Davy Ro's avatar

It says something when the Clinton's were never away from Epstein. Yet Elon couldn't join the eyes wide shut gang. Despite going to Israel to wear the little tithead hat & sell his soul to the Devil he still couldn't get in the gang. Suppose with a name like Elon, they knew he was a complete freak. He does call his kids names like R2D2 though. I suppose there is that though.

Franz Kafka's avatar

Elon is a fairly common Talmudic Jewish name. Probably in honor of some stupid demon or a variation of 'Elohim' - Gods.

cmdr cool's avatar

what's in the talmud for real! give me top 5 worst

The Diary of Grandma Mole's avatar

The latest I read is that Elon is winding down his car production in order to produce robots, and it doesn't take a genius to see that he wants to make some friends - literally,

Theophilus's avatar

Satire is redundant! Oh woe!

Paul Healey's avatar

Epstein has been replaced by smart tech paedophiles inc. Elon or rather Eleon the creep has been welcomed to the paedophile Olympia pad; to rank the creepiest of the creeps on the dark web in honour of his gracious butt stain Dumpf of turd Vader.