54 Comments
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Baz's avatar

Hang on a minute, surely Laura you’re not suggesting we’ve been duped by the authorities?

C’mon now, what possible motives would they have for such un American behaviour?

Sol Sön's avatar

shame I cannot attach a photo but if you search you can find one of the alleged corpse of epstein from which you can clearly see he had a nose and an ear job done in prison before his assisted suicide.

I think plastic surgery must be a U.S. prison healthcare standard.

Or not.

t

Colleen Mac🇨🇦's avatar

Melania will be just fine if the plastic surgery is included.

Zephyr Mezmeron's avatar

"As you can see, this is the most credible explanation since they confirmed that Jeffrey attempted suicide in his cell, failed, freaked out, blamed his cell mate, changed his mind about blaming his cell mate, said he couldn’t remember what happened, asked to stay with his cell mate, was separated from his cell mate anyway, killed himself three weeks later while the cameras were turned off, and the hard drives were erased, and he was smuggled out of prison while they used blankets and cardboard boxes as a decoy to fool journalists, then admitted to using the decoy but insisted Epstein is dead anyway, only for a coroner to say that he did not hang himself and appeared to have been strangled, and then they revealed photos of the body, but they were missing his tattoo which we are now saying he removed shortly before going to prison."

Best summary of that situation I've yet seen, and it's from a satirical article! US media companies, what are you even doing...

Linda Cross's avatar

Why have you copied and pasted the above article? Are you saying that you originally wrote it and you've been outrageously plagiarised?

Zephyr Mezmeron's avatar

No no no, I just thought that section was a good summary (and wanted to include it for context with the commentary under it). I certainly didn’t write this article, though it’s great and I’d have been proud to. Apologies for the confusion!

Vin LoPresti's avatar

Anti-aging package insert may specify blood of Gazan babies recently perished through hypothermia. Flash frozen on site by IDF special unit. Special order available only through Itamar Ben-Gvir and Co., Tel Aviv.

Klaus Hubbertz's avatar

👍👍👍 !!!

Available in family packs of a dozen only ... 🤮🤮🤮

Cameron Kennedy's avatar

For sure they trick you into one of those annoying "subscription packages".

Rebel Nun's avatar

This bit of genius writing should finally relieve us of the humorless commenters who insist that Laura is not writing satire. 😏

JT's avatar

I’ve been wondering what Mike Myers is up to these days …

Franz Kafka's avatar

Meyers is fronting for Palace Nazis like Carney in Canada. “Elbows up… Pants down!”

Amaterasu Solar's avatar

No One believes Me when I say that what We watch on the cave wall (Our screens, in the "news") is a scripted play, with actors cast and directed from the wings by the moneyed psychopaths in control on Our planet (by virtue of money). They think I am being metaphorical.

In fact, I mean it quite literally. When an actor leaves the stage but the character is still in the script, They replace the actor with another. Joe Biden was replaced. Now Ghislaine.

It's Plato's cave, and They convince Us Their show is reality, casting sandy hooks into Our emotions and dragging Us where They want Us. (Consider how contrived the "wars" are, that profit the hidden hand, the Ones putting on the play.)

Your Attention is Worth More to Them than Money (article): https://amaterasusolar.substack.com/p/your-attention-is-worth-more-to-them

NinjaThrowingStars's avatar

It's like the film Wag the Dog

Amaterasu Solar's avatar

I think that was a documentary, not fiction… LOL! They tell Us what They do in films.

damien flinter's avatar

"One way or another, the mighty Ba’al will have his revenge."

I do believe he got his revenge in pre-emtively with his 1917 Ba'a£-4 declaration of intent to rule the hi-teKKK occupied p£anet via his Nazioni$t surrogat€$.

It seems to be running smoothly....towards it's WASP messianiKKK End Times Rapturous conc£U$ion..

Davy Ro's avatar

Next thing we see is Starmer giving a press conference. About being concerned about kids welfare & we should be banning the likes of Grok to save them. Because it's Grok who trafficks, rapes & sacrifices them apparently. It's fantastic that Britain has the most caring & passionate leader about children's welfare. Especially since these Epstein files have been released. As we all know, no kids ever came to harm before they were. We'll have British Royals organising charities next to help save the kids. Isn't Britain something to be proud of, the establishment always look after the most vulnerable in our country. They're always showing their concern for the young, elderly & disabled. I can't wait until they make Jimmy Saville a Saint.

Andrew's avatar

I just stuck my head in a goldfish bowl while watching some BBC propaganda and I still see 2 warped minded individuals.

David R. Beauchemin, Sr.'s avatar

I think its called “Ageing”

Lisa Savage's avatar

"As you can see, this is the most credible explanation since they confirmed that Jeffrey attempted suicide in his cell, failed, freaked out, blamed his cell mate, changed his mind about blaming his cell mate, said he couldn’t remember what happened, asked to stay with his cell mate, was separated from his cell mate anyway, killed himself three weeks later while the cameras were turned off, and the hard drives were erased, and he was smuggled out of prison while they used blankets and cardboard boxes as a decoy to fool journalists, then admitted to using the decoy but insisted Epstein is dead anyway, only for a coroner to say that he did not hang himself and appeared to have been strangled, and then they revealed photos of the body, but they were missing his tattoo which we are now saying he removed shortly before going to prison."

This may be the best run-on sentence ever published. No one can parse lies, damned lies, and half truths like you, Laura.

Inter-Dimensional Dissentery's avatar

At this point if one doesn’t self identify as a “conspiracy theorist” then I have zero interest in what they have to say.

thewaterdiviner's avatar

Well it's the same level of crazy as most of the stuff oozing out of the White House (which should now probably be renamed The House of Baal). So it must be true 😏

Paul Jackson's avatar

Injecting bleach may well have been more effective and safer than remdesovir and intubation.