17 Comments
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Baz's avatar

Hang on a minute, surely Laura you’re not suggesting we’ve been duped by the authorities?

C’mon now, what possible motives would they have for such un American behaviour?

Sol Sön's avatar

shame I cannot attach a photo but if you search you can find one of the alleged corpse of epstein from which you can clearly see he had a nose and an ear job done in prison before his assisted suicide.

I think plastic surgery must be a U.S. prison healthcare standard.

Or not.

t

Vin LoPresti's avatar

Anti-aging package insert may specify blood of Gazan babies recently perished through hypothermia. Flash frozen on site by IDF special unit. Special order available only through Itamar Ben-Gvir and Co., Tel Aviv.

Zephyr Mezmeron's avatar

"As you can see, this is the most credible explanation since they confirmed that Jeffrey attempted suicide in his cell, failed, freaked out, blamed his cell mate, changed his mind about blaming his cell mate, said he couldn’t remember what happened, asked to stay with his cell mate, was separated from his cell mate anyway, killed himself three weeks later while the cameras were turned off, and the hard drives were erased, and he was smuggled out of prison while they used blankets and cardboard boxes as a decoy to fool journalists, then admitted to using the decoy but insisted Epstein is dead anyway, only for a coroner to say that he did not hang himself and appeared to have been strangled, and then they revealed photos of the body, but they were missing his tattoo which we are now saying he removed shortly before going to prison."

Best summary of that situation I've yet seen, and it's from a satirical article! US media companies, what are you even doing...

JT's avatar

I’ve been wondering what Mike Myers is up to these days …

Franz Kafka's avatar

Meyers is fronting for Palace Nazis like Carney in Canada. “Elbows up… Pants down!”

Rebel Nun's avatar

This bit of genius writing should finally relieve us of the humorless commenters who insist that Laura is not writing satire. 😏

Amaterasu Solar's avatar

No One believes Me when I say that what We watch on the cave wall (Our screens, in the "news") is a scripted play, with actors cast and directed from the wings by the moneyed psychopaths in control on Our planet (by virtue of money). They think I am being metaphorical.

In fact, I mean it quite literally. When an actor leaves the stage but the character is still in the script, They replace the actor with another. Joe Biden was replaced. Now Ghislaine.

It's Plato's cave, and They convince Us Their show is reality, casting sandy hooks into Our emotions and dragging Us where They want Us. (Consider how contrived the "wars" are, that profit the hidden hand, the Ones putting on the play.)

Your Attention is Worth More to Them than Money (article): https://amaterasusolar.substack.com/p/your-attention-is-worth-more-to-them

damien flinter's avatar

"One way or another, the mighty Ba’al will have his revenge."

I do believe he got his revenge in pre-emtively with his 1917 Ba'a£-4 declaration of intent to rule the hi-teKKK occupied p£anet via his Nazioni$t surrogat€$.

It seems to be running smoothly....towards it's WASP messianiKKK End Times Rapturous conc£U$ion..

Paul Jackson's avatar

Injecting bleach may well have been more effective and safer than remdesovir and intubation.

Lisa Savage's avatar

"As you can see, this is the most credible explanation since they confirmed that Jeffrey attempted suicide in his cell, failed, freaked out, blamed his cell mate, changed his mind about blaming his cell mate, said he couldn’t remember what happened, asked to stay with his cell mate, was separated from his cell mate anyway, killed himself three weeks later while the cameras were turned off, and the hard drives were erased, and he was smuggled out of prison while they used blankets and cardboard boxes as a decoy to fool journalists, then admitted to using the decoy but insisted Epstein is dead anyway, only for a coroner to say that he did not hang himself and appeared to have been strangled, and then they revealed photos of the body, but they were missing his tattoo which we are now saying he removed shortly before going to prison."

This may be the best run-on sentence ever published. No one can parse lies, damned lies, and half truths like you, Laura.

thewaterdiviner's avatar

Well it's the same level of crazy as most of the stuff oozing out of the White House (which should now probably be renamed The House of Baal). So it must be true 😏

Andrew's avatar

I just stuck my head in a goldfish bowl while watching some BBC propaganda and I still see 2 warped minded individuals.

Miss Giggles's avatar

Brilliant!!! 👏

Isaac Saragossi's avatar

This is poison ! This is trump cyanide

Franz Kafka's avatar

That’s never Jizzlame! It's Papa Robert back from the grave of the undead.