90 Comments
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Janet Scanlon's avatar

So so funny ! Thanks for making me laugh🥰

McrRed's avatar

Brilliant! 🤣

Nish Mukerjee's avatar

Superb, as usual. Your satirical articles are hilarious.😅. Than you, Laura.

Sean Griobhtha's avatar

Boom-boom-boom, boom-boom, Tel Aviv

You bought this upon yourself, it's your time to bleed

Boom-boom-boom, boom-boom, Tel Aviv

This is what you get for all your evil deeds

https://griobhtha1.substack.com/p/boom-boom-tel-aviv-and-british-investigative

Val D. Phillips's avatar

Sean, I found that song very n Spotify posted as if written by a neo-Nazi. Any idea how if that’s correct?

Sean Griobhtha's avatar

Lucas (Lukas) Gage is a white nationalist. He's a MC combat veteran (signed up from 9/11). He returned with severe PTSD. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucas_Gage). Wrote the song with Armaan Sidhu? I disagree with his race thinking, politics and following of Nick Fuentes and others, but I don't disgree with this song.

Val D. Phillips's avatar

Thank you so much for this information, Sean. Really appreciate it. I listened to the song until it got to the part where he started speaking of "the Jews." I don't see how lumping Jews in with Zionists helps the cause, especially in the US where there are 10 million members of a major Christian Zionist organization, but only 7 million Jews, and many of them are not Zionists. I sympathize heartily with the sentiment, but I'm trying my damnedest not to celebrate the pain of others, even those who've committed genocide. I'm failing, but I keep trying.

Sean Griobhtha's avatar

I agrre with this, then I run into the fact Ashkenazis claim to Jews, claim supremacy for being "Jew", etc... Then I listen to Palestinians, former Zionists, those "Jews" who grew up in the Israeli regime denounce Zionists as insane Jews... and my thinking greys. Stanley Cohen, the human rights attorney, grew up Jewish. He renounced it and makes no distinction between Zionist and Jew, because he sees the entire project based upon myth and falsification. This leads me to distinguish that being a Jew means you follow Judaism (a social thought system just like Jesus), or your are a Zionist Jew that appropriates the tradition for power and greed. Either way, denunciation of Zews (Nada Chehade) is not anywhere as vehement as it ought to be... combined with the factvyhat Reform Jewish synagougues specifically state they were formed to support the Zionist project. While trying to choose words wisely, I don’t feel a need to be apologetic for the failure of Jewish populations to police their owner to be "sensitive" when the results of that castostrophic failure are open slaughter on industrial scale. "The international law does not apply to the Jews. That is the difference between The Chosen and the others". - Bezalel Smotrich, Israeli Finance Minister.

gypsy33's avatar

I’m Palestinian-American and I’m getting REALLY FUCKING TIRED of pointing this out:

It ain’t Quakers committing genocide.

I wish death on every single fucking Jizzraeli who thinks they can live on MY peoples’ land without consequence.

Take that lil ol bleeding heart elsewhere, bitch.

Val D. Phillips's avatar

But gypsy33, you like my bleeding heart! I don't begrudge you your feelings at all. As a Quaker, I can assure you, we've done more than our part in the American genocide, and far too many individual Quakers are still Zionist. As a recovered Christian Zionist, it enrages me how little they're held accountable for this. It couldn't happen without their money and political support. The most powerful Zionist in the world until last year was Joseph Biden, with a full arsenal of nuclear weapons at his disposal with which he could silence or at least terrorize most of the world out of physically defending Gaza.

Lisa's avatar
Mar 17Edited

And yet: If you were in so-called-Israel — or anywhere else in West Asia — "Jewish" would be exactly the right distinction. In that part of the world, "Zionist" is a pointless non-distinction, that includes nearly 100% of Jewish Israelis. And "Israeli" would also be less accurate than "Jewish"; you wouldn't want to unfairly accuse the (approximately) 20% of Israelis who are not Jewish & don't all share that genocidally-racist, Jewish-supremacist psychopathy.

In repeated polls, 82-95% of Jewish Israelis freely admit to supporting genocidal annexation/"Greater-Israel"/Jewish-supremacy. (I have to assume that the other 5-18% is primarily made up of the non-European, non-settlers, who were Jewish in Palestine, PRIOR to the invasion/Nakba/psychopathic white-supremacist/Jewish-supremacist take-over/genocide/Greater-Israel project.)

And yes, I understand that the song-writer is American, but the audience for that song is global.

You just can't expect everyone to submit to your perspective, as if it is the one truly moral perspective. (Especially if you didn't stop listening on moral grounds, when you heard the word, "retarded." 😏🤷🏻‍♀️)

You can't expect everyone to prioritize a "not all Jews" ethic, during a Jewish-supremacist holocaust, any more than you should expect everyone to have prioritized a "not all Christians" ethic, during the Crusades.

Not because it's not technically true, in your region (or mine), but because it can't possibly be the PRIORITY. Not under these circumstances. Not in this moment. And not when even now, even in the US, a MAJORITY of the Jewish population is still supporting Israel.

Imagine YOUR family being one of the millions of families, who are being sadistically victimized by Zionists, and then imagine being subjected to the perverse torment, of having your victimization compounded by the fact that there is ALWAYS someone poking their nose in, to admonish people not to be too hard on your victimizers.

I'm not saying you should change the way you distinguish between people in your own region; I'm just saying you shouldn't expect your distinctions to be universal, because those distinctions don't fit all regions.

Val D. Phillips's avatar

Lisa, I never suggested that everyone had to follow my beliefs. Where do you get that from anything I said? I lived in Palestine for two years, I've been there, and elsewhere in West Asia many times. I'm well aware that in Palestine, in particular, the distinction has always been--at the Zionists' behest--between Jew and Arab. The song was written in English. By an American fascist. I'm allowed to have an opinion about it. No one else is required to share it. I've been in this struggle for 45 years, and I have a lot of experience with non-Zionist Jews, non-Zionist Israelis, and Christian Zionists. I know Israelis, born there, with no other passports, who've spent years in prison for opposing Zionism, and working for a free Palestine, since long before the current acceleration of the genocide. There are orthodox Jews in Israel getting the shit kicked out of them for resisting the genocide. There are Jews everywhere fighting this. Acting all Jews are Zionist Israelis serves Benjamin Netanyahu and the ADL, and I don't want to do anything to help them. For me, working in English and in the English-speaking world, the distinction is important, for historical as well as political reasons. I hear that for others it's not. I'd forgotten about the "retarded" line. That's pretty terrible and unnecessary too. Thanks for the reminder.

gypsy33's avatar

Val, who gives a shit who wrote it?

Jizzrael’s new national anthem 😁

Val D. Phillips's avatar

I do. The history of my country says you can't trust fascists, period, and the guy who wrote this is one. He is not my ally. You're not required to give a shit who wrote it. As far as I'm concerned, no one--including me--has the right to judge you or any Palestinian for anything you feel.

Vin LoPresti's avatar

Hilarious. But please not tomato puree. As an Italian-American, I dread the thought of Bibi's protoplasm having anything in common with an organism so critical to my diet. Puree of stinkweed perhaps.

gypsy33's avatar

I don’t know if I can ever use my Saucemaster again….😭😭😭

Peter Sire's avatar

You should see the reviews the AI generated videos got on Rotten Tomatoes 😭

Rebel Nun's avatar

I’d love to see them! I couldn’t find them in a site search - could you provide a link?

Peter Sire's avatar

Sorry - it was a wry pun on Vin's tomatophilia 😭

Val D. Phillips's avatar

One of your best, Laura!

Amazon Piss Jugs's avatar

I need this humor right now thank u so much Laura 🤘🙏🔥🔥🔥

Adeel Mirza's avatar

lets all pray that the war criminal is dead.

Baz's avatar

No - We must honour the victims, it would be better if he faced justice - the trial would show the world the reality of his and Israel’s crimes.

Adeel Mirza's avatar

Good point. We need to capture him alive.

gypsy33's avatar

With a noose around his neck.

Rosalind Dalefield's avatar

I would love to see him snivelling on a gallows at the Hague.

gypsy33's avatar

Or screaming like a little girl, Rosalind 😁

Rosalind Dalefield's avatar

Blubbering and having to be sat in a chair because he refuses to stand up.

susan cartwright's avatar

A trial? Wouldn't happen. These guys always get out of accountablity. I want Netenyahu dead as if he is alive he will order the use of nukes on Iran. If Netenyahu thinks he has lost, that is what he will do. With him gone I sleep easier at night.

Baz's avatar

A trial is super unlikely but if it were to happen it would be the ultimate humiliation for the rogue state when its leaders are jailed for war crimes and the world recognises the genocide. We can only hope but yes, the US and Israel both have shredded international law and believe it irrelevant.

Greeley Miklashek, MD's avatar

Many thanks for the comic interlude. Bibi and Vlad control Tramp by threatening to release to the world Tramp's KOMPROMAT, showing his sexual exploits with vulnerable children, including torture and possibly murder.

MakerOfNoise's avatar

"Congress was in disarray, asking what is going to happen to their AIPAC cheques?"

Calm down. It's just a change in management. Your checks will still arrive on time. Just wait until you meet the new guy!

Jane Ellen B.'s avatar

Proper job Laura. I think he's alive and quaking in some luxury accommodation. But laughing about his death is my favourite thing to do.

Elise Flowers's avatar

I beg to differ not 6 but 7bfingers. Also a foot for a hand

Steven's avatar

How come a reporter does not ask Trump if Netanyahu is dead, we may get an answer even if it is just a reaction.

Rebel Nun's avatar

Great idea. We might get the truth before he thinks.

JM's avatar

Thinks? You need a brain for that?

Sher''s avatar

They'd better improve their editing skills...

Krishna Shiatis's avatar

I know that this is going to sound strange, but I really do not think Mossad is that stupid (look at what they have done over the years to bring us to this point). The evil monster is not dead. He has run away (with his top bessie mates in Mossad and the army) to get surgery done, so he and his mates can 'disappear' to a zionist-friendly country, once they have done their damage. They will leave a 'lookalike' to be uncovered from under rubble. This is why I think he pretended to have cancer. They had to keep the lookalike's body on ice. It would have shrunk once defrosted. By claiming that he had cancer, they could explain the loss of weight (of the lookalike) away, that way. They have planned it all already. We really need someone like Simon Wiesenthal to find all these evil men and bring them to justice.

Rosalind Dalefield's avatar

Mossad has rolled out very fake videos before. During the early days of the Gaza genocide, they had a nurse in Gaza weeping because Hamas was invading the surgery suite of the hospital. The nurse was wearing full makeup, which a theatre nurse would never do. In addition, she was speaking a dialect of Arabic that made it very obvious to Palestinians that she had learned her Arabic in Egypt. Although it is one language, there are distinctive dialects that are obvious to those who speak Arabic as a first language.

Jacqueline Conway's avatar

‘Netenyahu was the first US president to be assassinated since JFK…’ immortal! 😁