Israel wants experienced actors and director for propaganda video

The next one has to not look obviously fake

You have to sympathise with Israel. They went to huge lengths with their last propaganda video. They kidnapped a bunch of innocent men from a refugee shelter and tried really hard to smear them as Hamas. They stripped the men naked in public (because no one would believe innocent men could be stripped naked by someone sitting behind the gun turret of a tank), and then they planted a rifle on one of the men.

Sadly for Israel, men that you’ve just kidnapped and stripped naked tend to make rubbish actors because they’re terrified. Also, members of the IDF tend to make rubbish cameramen and movie directors because their only skill is racking up body counts like they’re in a game of Call of Duty where they have unlimited ammunition and the other side is armed with rocks.

What happened in this instance is the IDF asked the man with the planted gun to bring it out above his head, but the cameraman recorded shaky footage so they decided to shoot the scene again. Second time around, the terrified man held the gun in the other hand and some stupid idiot released both bits of footage.

Even worse, one of the videos recorded a soldier yelling: “Grab the gun I gave you, but don’t shoot it, we don’t want trouble, and march slowly, carrying it, and put it on the other side on the ground.”

This means even the most gullible genocide apologists could see the entire video was staged and they all went into mass panic as their cognitive dissonance failed!

It all made the apartheid state look so bad. Obviously, an un-staged version of this video would have made Israel look brilliant because needlessly stripping and humiliating your captives is totally what the good guys would do.

Sadly for Israel, they aren’t able to use Hamas fighters in videos like this because they're too busy fighting the IDF to the death to learn a script. This means Israel is forced to either kidnap terrified civilians (the cheap option) or hire experts (the expensive option).

Given Israel has been caught faking an audio recording to trick people into thinking they would never bomb the hospital - and they’ve been caught planting evidence in the MRI room to show they were justified in bombing the hospital - and nobody believed them when they planted pristine copies of Mein Kampf on dead bodies, they’ve decided their propaganda needs to get better because, right now, they’re looking like amateurs.

Therefore, Israel is seeking morally deficient actors who don’t mind getting naked on camera and pretending to be Hamas.

If you’re interested in the role, don’t worry, the IDF is going to conceal your face with a bag so you can’t be identified. (They really should’ve thought of this earlier, so people couldn’t identify all the UN staff and humanitarian workers they’d kidnapped.)

Israel is also seeking an experienced director who can avoid basic continuity issues like guns in the wrong hand and other errors that may impact believability.

Israel might have fucked up every piece of evidence it’s published to date, but it’s hoped that if the next video has higher production values, the world may yet get behind their genocide.

Someone suggested hiring Gal Gadot to play an IDF soldier to add a bit of star power to their first big budget production, but an IDF spokesperson said: “Be serious here, we need people who know how to act!” x

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