Members of Epstein client list confirm missing minute on Epstein video is not suspicious
I find this reassuring, don't you?
The footage released by the DoJ of Jeffrey Epstein's cell on the day he was busted out of jail and flown to a tropical island has a missing minute. Conspiracy theorists have suggested something could have happened during that minute, but all members of the Epstein client list are in agreement they are wrong.
Attorney general Pam Bondi set the record straight with a story about someone resetting the clock, causing one minute of lapsed time. Why she didn't go with a more credible story like aliens is beyond me. Everyone knows there is lapsed time when aliens are involved!
Pam is so reliable that she said the Epstein client list was on her desk, but she sadly developed amnesia and has no recollection of that. Poor thing is so confused, she now thinks the Epstein client list doesn't exist. Bless her.
NOTE: Normal Island News has gained access to the Epstein client list and is in the process of blackmailing the world's richest and most powerful people. If you see any politicians tweeting "I stand with Normal Island News" or "Normal Island News has a right to defend itself", you know what's happening. I can now press ahead with my war against GB News with the full support of US B-52s.
Anyways, back to the Epstein video...
Awkwardly, the video shows the wrong cell door because Epstein's cell had a window as confirmed by a CNN photo. It was later explained the video does not show Epstein's cell, but rather the entrance to the hallway because we've remembered the camera for Epstein's cell had magically stopped working.
In a bizarre coincidence, the camera for Epstein's cell also stopped working during a previous incident in July 2019 in which Epstein was injured. What are the chances?
Thankfully, the FBI reassured everyone that nothing suspicious was going on by releasing original footage so blurry, you could not make out Epstein's face when he was escorted to the cell, and releasing "enhanced footage" that looked like it had been tampered with to mask reflections. The FBI refused to clarify which software or techniques had been used in the enhanced version because that info is not important.
Given there were multiple cameras in the hall, I don't find it suspicious that all we get is a single piece of grainy footage with no audio and an altered version of the same footage. I think it's fine the FBI didn't address the missing minute or the wrong cell door up front in the name of transparency. The fact the guards fell asleep and falsified records to cover their tracks is a minor detail of no relevance.
Let's not even talk about the regular transactions in Epstein's bank account, six years after his death, or that the best explanation we've got for this is "no one knows why". Just leave poor Jeffrey alone. Life on a tropical island is not free, ya know! x
Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend. Your support is hugely appreciated x
It's established precedent, @Laura K. When Nixon released the Watergate tapes, there was a blatant 18.5-minute gap during a recorded phone conversation between him and (Chief-of-Staff) H.R. Haldeman. The tape was filled with percussive noises that indicated it had been erased.
Well, if Nixon could do it, Trump can do it, and since Epstein was kind enough to "commit suicide," we can safely assume that nothing is amiss in any of this. [Of course, Musk made some brash remarks, but what could HE possibly know?]
I can now sleep soundly tonight, knowing for certain that this mystery and conspiracy has been thoroughly put to rest.