Muslim socialist destroys New York by taxing the rich, eliminating the deficit and improving public services

Newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani—better known as Muslim al-Socialist to everyone who remembers what America used to be—has single-handedly ruined the greatest hellhole on Earth in just 100 days, exactly as every hedge-fund manager warned he would.

Mamdani proved that modern terrorism doesn’t require bombs when he destroyed New York, simply by asking Wall Street to chip in roughly what they would spend on a single breakfast. His predecessor Eric Adams explained this policy was “far more destructive than anything Israel did to Gaza” and he received one final AIPAC cheque as a thank you. He has now been sent to a retirement home for disgraced mayors. What do you mean — you hope it’s a kill shelter?

Clearly, you don’t understand how much worse things are getting. A modest tax on incomes over $2 million has balanced New York City’s $124.7 billion budget with no need for creative accounting, ghost revenues, or promises to fix it next year. It’s so awkward because we’ve spent forever arguing that cuts to taxes for the rich (and services for everyone else) is the only way to balance the books. Mamdani has made us look like financially illiterate idiots, when the reality is we are financially literate liars — and you were always the idiots for believing us!

Thanks to social-terrorism, the American dream is now dying. Hedge-fund managers can’t stop shaking as their vacation home in the Hamptons faces a 2% higher marginal rate. “This is tyranny” whimpered one anonymous billionaire while boarding his private jet to Miami to escape the horror of cleaner streets and mandatory halal menus.

As Mayor Mamdani celebrates his first 100 days, he could not be more smug. The Islamist from Queens didn’t just inherit the usual mess left by previous mayors, he fixed it. He showed that when his predecessors said they “can’t” improve things, they actually meant “won’t”, or more precisely, “my donors won’t allow me to”. It turns out that electing someone who is not beholden to their donors is in your self-interest, but who cares about your self-interest? Not me, that’s for sure…

Mamdani has filled 101,247 potholes that previous administrations had simply painted yellow and called “traffic calming measures.” He poured $1.2 billion into childcare programs so parents could actually afford to work. He froze rents, launched a new Department of Community Safety, and somehow made 94% of subway trains run on time. He gave public schools actual books and teachers a bumper pay rise so they no longer need to drive Ubers to make rent. He even cleared the snow in record time last winter by paying people decent wages instead of the usual “pray and hope” strategy. And worst of all, he is converting luxury vacancies into affordable housing units because he thinks housing is a “human right” rather than a speculative asset class for the rich. This is basically war against projected ROI.

New York is now a nightmare for everyone who says socialism can’t work. Crime is down. Tourism is up. Revenue is growing. Service improvements are everywhere. Even the rats look… healthier? Something suspicious is happening because no one can balance five daily prayers with running the world’s most chaotic metropolis, yet somehow Mamdani is doing both — and he is making life better for ordinary workers. It’s un-American.

Rich New Yorkers are so disgusted by the prospect of living in a functioning city that they’re threatening to leave in their droves in search of a libertarian paradise where nothing works. One executive was overheard saying, “This is worse than 9/11 because at least that didn’t raise my taxes”. Spoken like a true patriot…

Disturbingly, 68% of New Yorkers approve of Mamdani’s changes, but surprisingly, elements of the online left have taken our side. Miracles never cease. Apparently, they are furious that Mamdani is “duping voters” by doing the things they asked for. Clearly, this is a psy-op to trick the public into accepting positive change — and there is a real risk that psy-op could cross the Atlantic. Zack Polanski could point to Mamdani’s successes and repeat them in the UK, forcing billionaires to live like… slightly poorer billionaires. Civilisation as we know it might never recover…

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