Operation Epstein Distraction finds miracle cures for every illness!
You can’t have failed to notice the number of miracle cures that have appeared over the last few days. We’re talking about HPV, MS, haemophilia, six types of cancer, and depression. We’re even talking about repairing injured spinal cords. I’m not sure if they have found a cure for paedophilia though.
All of this coincidentally started happening when the US left the World Health Organisation a couple of weeks ago. Truly, leaving the WHO has been Trump’s biggest gift to humanity since the birth of Eric.
The ruling elite have suddenly remembered they’ve known about the cures all along, but cures aren’t as profitable as treatment. Attitudes at the top are thankfully changing because Rep Thomas Massie has the full Epstein client list, and he says it includes almost every politician and donor. Let’s be honest, we would all cure cancer if it got us off the hook for being a nonce.
People say nothing good has come from the Epstein files, but the panic has caused wealthy paedophiles to pretend to care about sick people. Combine this with the fact China is talking about a universal cancer vaccine and big pharma is realising the game is up. Their $2.7 trillion scam is collapsing so our rulers might as well save themselves...
Things have got so bad at Trump Tower that the president is expected to announce they have a miracle machine that can cure every illness. Every single one! If you lot keep talking about Epstein, he might even announce universal healthcare. That’s how bad things are!
If you thought that wasn’t weird enough, Trump is expected to announce the existence of aliens. Now every time I talk about this, people assume it’s a terrible attempt at satire or something, but it’s really not! All of the credible organisations, like the Daily Mail and GB News, are reporting this, so it must be true!
They are saying Trump has green lit an announcement that aliens are real. Rep Burlison claims Trump has been fully briefed on UFOs and alien-human hybrid programs, meaning we finally have an explanation for Liz Truss.
The only question now is how far can they get away with pushing this one? Will a few grainy UFO videos be enough? Will the public believe the Epstein ring was reptilians using mind-control on good-hearted billionaires? Trump’s supporters believe Melania married for love, so they will believe anything...
Obviously, narrative control is not Trump’s strong point so expect this to be an almighty mess. Apparently, he has prepared a speech so we could be looking at the biggest announcement in human history being delivered by someone with all the gravitas of a broken hand dryer. And he is going to get impeached regardless. It is going to be nothing if not hilarious!
Thank you so much for reading my outstanding journalism! If you enjoyed this article, you can buy me a coffee below or simply share this article with a friend. Your support is hugely appreciated x


"all the gravitas of a broken hand dryer" -- in a stinking filthy men's room at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere?
I've been there. Depressing. Thanks for whatever module in your brain births these great images.
Spot on the alien story is coming - distract distract distract !! These people are beyond words.