Politician jailed for taking bribes from Russia instead of Israel
The disgraced former leader of Reform Wales has been jailed for ten and a half years after taking £40,000 in bribes from Russia. Nathan Gill saw his fellow politicians taking money from every lobbyist in sight and thought it was the done thing, but he didn’t realise you’re not allowed to take money from the bad countries. Only the goodies are allowed to corrupt our politicians.
The sad thing is that Gill could have avoided jail time by taking a more respectable path, such as accepting bribes from Israel. If Gill had taken £40,000 from a generous Israeli who wanted nothing in return, he could have avoided prison by repeating the phrase “Israel has a right to defend itself” five times a day. That’s what a real patriot would do.
Instead, Gill chose to make pro-Russian statements to the media and European parliament. In some cases, he delivered speeches that were texted to him, almost word for word. It reminds me of when I was in Boris Johnson’s WhatsApp group and every TV journalist would repeat his messages word for word!
It’s kinda awkward that the BBC has spent the last decade boosting Nigel Farage, isn’t it? The Reform leader has expressed his admiration for Putin and been photographed with the wife of the oligarch who was bribing Gill. I’m sure this is just a coincidence though…
Worryingly, police are investigating other politicians so this is squeaky bum time. Either Farage is gonna be our next prime minister, or he is gonna be the next one in jail. I’m just praying he didn’t choose the wrong sugar daddy because taking bribes from Russia is not fucking acceptable.
On the other hand, taking bribes from Israel is so respectable that we have “pro-Israel lobby groups”. Our good friends in the US go one step further by having a whole AIPAC. Unlike Russiagate, AIPAC is not a huge scandal because Israel was smart enough to bribe both parties to stop the corruption becoming a partisan issue. This is why every congressman tongue-kisses a fucking wall and rapes underage girls on camera.
It’s not just politicians getting in on the act though. Israel’s bribery is so respectable that influencers meet Netanyahu and get offered $7,000 per post to say: “Genocide? What genocide?” Obviously, genocide denial is not dangerous so that sort of thing is totally fine.
Israel is smart enough to keep its influencers and politicians disciplined, which is why it sent Tommy Robinson to a re-education camp. It’s also why a random nerd with a transgender girlfriend carried out a professional hit on Charlie Kirk then paved over the crime scene.
Russia’s corruption ring is just not as sophisticated as Israel’s and this failure explains why Putin is not allowed to have “pro-Russia lobby groups” or meetings with our influencers. If only Putin had thought of doing an Epstein-sized honeypot first, things could have been so different. Imagine a world where our politicians say “Russia has a right to defend itself” five times a day. Wouldn’t that be weird? x
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Measly "£40,000 in bribes from Russia." He is basically an "honest man" if compared to what our US politicians take from AIPAC. But it looks like the life in the EU gets hard indeed, if the bribes are so small...
Not half as weird as 'Muslims have a right to defend themselves' would be! Imagine! Western politicos selflessly uniting behind the idea that something as stupid as a made up, voluntarily followed religious superstition gave any gang of supremacist thugs the right to murder, rape, torture, thieve and commit genocide! I mean? Good golly! How revolted we all would be.