President Trump heroically saves eight AI-generated women from execution in Iran

It’s fair to say that President Trump was in desperate need of some good PR because the Iran war was not exactly going to plan. America’s foremost rapist got off to a terrible start when he blew up an all-girls’ school. He then mistakenly threatened to destroy an entire civilisation, before remembering he is supposed to be the liberator of women. The situation was an almighty mess.

The Iranians were not just winning the war, they were humiliating the president with their AI-generated Lego videos that were somehow making him look like an idiot. Trump therefore demanded the US up their AI game, and thankfully, the Department of War did just that.

In the most convincing move since the FBI revealed those transgender Antifa bullets that killed Charlie Kirk, an AI-slop account released pictures of eight highly convincing AI-generated women.

Not only were the women attractive enough to elicit sympathy from MAGA males who would never care about average Iranians, but the images were all headshots with black backgrounds. Even better, seven of the women were backlit like the stars in old TV movies.

The moment I saw these gorgeous women who look like models, I was filled with a desire to bomb Tehran back to the stone age… to liberate them. Just look at those plump lips and hair so lustrous it would make the morality police reconsider their stance on head scarves. These women deserve to have their bridges and power plants destroyed.

Understandably, Fox News was fooled by the super-convincing fakes and proudly led calls to save these beautiful women before it’s too late. The US-equivalent of Normal Island News reported that the women were sentenced to death for refusing to wear the virtual hijab and would be hanged on Monday.

President Trump was eager to step up to the plate so he bombed an Iranian prison, only for aides to remind him these women aren’t actually in prison.

Upon hearing this news, Trump was delighted to claim credit for securing the release of the women who never existed. He announced that Iran had agreed not to execute them out of respect for him and would release four immediately and another four in a month. He then asked if the women could be delivered to him, only for his aides to say, “Unfortunately not, sir, they’re not real, remember?”

Trump was instead presented with framed bikini-clad deepfakes to remind him of the most heroic rescue since he successfully retrieved those fictional pilots from Isfahan. This is what separates the freedom-loving West from the primitive Middle East: we value the lives of AI-generated women and they make hilarious Lego videos. Fucking savages.

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