President Trump skips son's wedding to attend his latest staged assassination attempt
President Trump has explained that he was sadly unable to attend his son’s wedding in the Bahamas because the date clashed with his latest staged assassination attempt. Obviously, a big PR moment is more important to the president than the big day of a son that he is pretty sure he has met on several occasions.
Now you’re probably as confused as I am about Barron getting married, but I can confirm the seven-foot-tall 14-year-old did not actually get married. It was Donald Trump Jr who got married for the second time after his first wife successfully escaped in 2018 and joined a refuge for Epstein survivors.
Donald Trump Jr’s latest victim is Bettina Anderson, who happens to be the beloved daughter of Epstein enabler Harry Loy Anderson Jr. Their wedding should have been the paedophile event of the century, however, Epstein couldn’t attend because he is still faking his own death, and Trump Sr couldn’t attend because he was faking his own survival.
Trump Jr is reportedly upset to be the only kid his dad won’t visit an island for, but he should have checked the entry requirements for the Bahamas because they do not allow adjudicated rapists into their country. I’m sure this was an unintentional oversight…
The wedding ceremony took place in a cosy Ba’al temple and involved summoning a demon that bore an alarming resemblance to Kid Rock and tucking into a delicious cake made from baby flesh. Trump Sr would have loved it, but at least he had some excitement when he heroically dodged fake bullets like Neo for the 7th time this year.
All you need to know is that the staged assassination attempt in Washington DC was a beautiful affair. A courageous MK Ultra recruit was so committed to the Epstein cause that he sacrificed his life by opening fire on security officers near the White House. Like everyone who tries to kill the president, he lacked the accuracy of the average high school shooter and missed with every shot before he was killed. The president is expected to pin this assassination attempt on Raul Castro to justify nuking Havana.
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"Epstein couldn’t attend because he is still faking his own death, and Trump Sr couldn’t attend because he was faking his own survival". Madame, you are a genius.
It's so good to have it all explained! Clarity is all . . .