Rishi Sunak asks Suella Braverman for permission to sack her

This was a risky move

Home Secretary Suella Braverman has become the latest Tory to break the Ministerial Code by writing an article in The Times without the prime minister’s approval.

Suella used inflammatory language, calling pro-Palestinian protesters “hate marchers” and saying: “I do not believe that these marches are merely a cry for help for Gaza.” This is because Suella is consumed by hatred and incapable of empathising with suffering children and she assumes everyone else is the same.

Suella suggested organisers of this Saturday’s march have links to Hamas - the only links being the words that have come out of her mouth. Shockingly, Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Mark Rowley, doesn’t seem to understand that if Suella says something, that makes it true. Even more worrying is that Sir Mark decided to correctly interpret the law and let the march go ahead.

Obviously, the fact people are protesting 1,000 babies being killed every week is a much bigger concern than 1,000 babies being killed every week. The outrage is fully justified because the protest is going to interrupt the 11am silence and go right past the cenotaph. All of this is true, apart from the fact the march is going nowhere near the cenotaph and doesn’t start until after the 11am silence.

Thankfully, the facts won’t get in the way of Suella’s supporters - the English Defence League - starting a massive fight and blaming the protesters for the violence. This carefully considered plan B is being implemented to shut down future protests and blame Sir Mark for failing to stop Suella from inciting violence.

Suella was angrier than a three-year-old who doesn’t get to push the button at a road crossing when Sir Mark refused to ban the march because he has no legal basis for doing so. He doesn’t seem to understand free speech is not for people we don’t like. He also doesn’t understand that “operational independence” means the police are supposed to do exactly what the home secretary wants, no matter how idiotic it is.

Suella accused the police of “double standards” and said Sir Mark is a massive leftie knob-head Hamas lover who hates the UK and likes eating tofu while wearing sandals with white socks on. I’m pretty sure that was verbatim, although I can’t be arsed to double check.

There are now calls for the home secretary to be sacked because she did not obtain permission to write her calm and rational critique of our most senior police officer. It’s a difficult situation for the prime minister because he fully agrees with the home secretary, but he has to pretend he does not. This is what makes him a moderate.

Rishi’s problem is he needs to fuel the culture war because he can’t win the next election unless high IQ flag shaggers get triggered by an imaginary enemy. Suella is the only minister who has the knack of saying exactly the wrong thing in every situation so he needs her, but he also needs to sack her, otherwise he looks weak and the flag shaggers won’t respect him. It’s an impossible dilemma.

The prime minister was not sure what to do so he asked the home secretary if he could have permission to sack her, which as about as risky as a male black widow trying to mate with a female. There is every chance Suella could devour him and take his job.

One possibility is that Suella’s allies could trigger a no confidence vote and it’s plausible the prime minister would vote no confidence in himself because let’s be honest, everyone else would. If this happened, Suella could be our next prime minister and personally, I could not think of a more stabilising influence when we are at the brink of World War III and the economy still hasn’t recovered from Liz Truss x

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