America is the only country on earth that might be even more normal than the UK and today it is having one of its most normal days ever because the rapture has arrived.
I am willing to undergo all the horrors of the Apocalypse and Armageddon itself if it means weβre well and truly rid of Christian zionists, evangelical whack-a-doos, and fundamentalist haters of all stripes. Bring it, baby! Bring it on!
I don't know if that's a viable project on your part, Karthy. Think of the complications! "Habeus Corpus" and all that is going to be a bit of a problem for you. Of, as they say in the King's English: βProduce the Body."
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I mean, once all the rapturites have ascended bodily into the Heavens, how is the problem of succession going to be dealt with without a body to put in a casket? No corpus, no evidence of death. Would video evidence of your grandmama ascending to the Heavens like a helium balloon be construed as adequate evidence of decedence for the reading of a will and inheritance of property?
.
Or do the rapturites still retain ownership of their property on earth after transportation to the Heavens? Also, presumably all the casket makers will be put out of business, because there will be no further opportunities for resurrection and heavenly transportation. We may all just have to switch to cremation and green burial from now on.
.
On the other hand, there might be a viable business opportunity in the years ahead for a canny entrepreneur β if the rapture does not actually take place in the next 24 hours, that is. Kathy, you could start a line of consulting work helping pre-rapturites with estate planning for their forthcoming rapture.
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For instance, you could do a line with drone video surveillance to monitor pre-rapturites for their ever-possible moment of departure, to be sure to get their departure on record for the lawyers who will need to establish post-rapture succession. Really, the possibilities are endless.
Good point, Ronald Reed. Could the Rapturites receive rents from the Left-Behinders for their left-behind rental properties? Can they spend the money in heaven. Do they re-invest in Earthal properties instead.
.
Kathy, take note: another good business opportunity to consider.
Iβm reminding my evangelical neighbors to leave me all their access codes (house and bank) such that my heathen ass can feed their pets once theyβre gone.
Iβve witnessed their pets engaging in some pretty disgusting acts with other non-evangelical pets in the neighborhood. Even consorting with a coyote in one instance.
Most that I've met recently have suffered some sort of comatose event in their lives. One place I recently went to kicked me out for giving people copies of "The Citizens Rule Book' to four people The pastor, the assistant pastor a deacon and a man on the security detail. Guess what is in it? A COPY OF THE US CONSTITUTION, THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, THE BILL OF RIGHTS and section on the POWER OF THE JURY! Yeah, you read that right. This was in a message that was sent to me by Email from the PASTOR!!...
I was over forty the first I ever heard of the rapture. I could not believe ANYONE could believe THAT. Then I moved to Tennessee in my sixties. Christ on a bike!?!
Oh absolutely, nothing screams βmost normal day everβ like inflatable rapture decoys, TikTok prophets, and Donald Trump phoning pastors as if heaven has a hotline. If this is the end of days, at least itβs got top-tier slapstick energy. Fuck Trump and everything he stands for!
But wait, what about Armageddon? Weβve got our Charlie martyr now, but weβve got to have the big finale, so pray, pray as never before! Oh God, help the Israelis start THE WAR!
Sloths, ah? Well, that explains why Jehovah's Witnesses have been so active lately. Busy-bee writing letters and circling around the neighborhood like vultures. Blood donors of all countries unite to repel this cult of death. Luckily Jeshua has a good sense of humor. While a brilliant journalist here is another proof of the existence of God.
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Funny as fuck! So let me get this right. You wrote some words in America and then - kapoom!- hot dang, they arrived here in Austraya, and made some bloke laugh. That's almost better than CB radio. 10/4 Brother Truckers! Jesus is King. There is no other. Amen.
I am willing to undergo all the horrors of the Apocalypse and Armageddon itself if it means weβre well and truly rid of Christian zionists, evangelical whack-a-doos, and fundamentalist haters of all stripes. Bring it, baby! Bring it on!
"Whack-a-doos" ! πππ love it!
I am right with you! Need any ammo?
I wish I knew one of these idiots so I can ask to be in their will.
.
I don't know if that's a viable project on your part, Karthy. Think of the complications! "Habeus Corpus" and all that is going to be a bit of a problem for you. Of, as they say in the King's English: βProduce the Body."
.
I mean, once all the rapturites have ascended bodily into the Heavens, how is the problem of succession going to be dealt with without a body to put in a casket? No corpus, no evidence of death. Would video evidence of your grandmama ascending to the Heavens like a helium balloon be construed as adequate evidence of decedence for the reading of a will and inheritance of property?
.
Or do the rapturites still retain ownership of their property on earth after transportation to the Heavens? Also, presumably all the casket makers will be put out of business, because there will be no further opportunities for resurrection and heavenly transportation. We may all just have to switch to cremation and green burial from now on.
.
On the other hand, there might be a viable business opportunity in the years ahead for a canny entrepreneur β if the rapture does not actually take place in the next 24 hours, that is. Kathy, you could start a line of consulting work helping pre-rapturites with estate planning for their forthcoming rapture.
.
For instance, you could do a line with drone video surveillance to monitor pre-rapturites for their ever-possible moment of departure, to be sure to get their departure on record for the lawyers who will need to establish post-rapture succession. Really, the possibilities are endless.
.
βOr do the rapturites still retain ownership of their property on earth after transportation to the Heavens?β The Ultimate absentee landlordsβ¦
.
Good point, Ronald Reed. Could the Rapturites receive rents from the Left-Behinders for their left-behind rental properties? Can they spend the money in heaven. Do they re-invest in Earthal properties instead.
.
Kathy, take note: another good business opportunity to consider.
.
They are too busy in their "churches" singing "I'll Fly Away".
Iβm reminding my evangelical neighbors to leave me all their access codes (house and bank) such that my heathen ass can feed their pets once theyβre gone.
Pet Food ainβt free, after all.
Iβve witnessed their pets engaging in some pretty disgusting acts with other non-evangelical pets in the neighborhood. Even consorting with a coyote in one instance.
Those fuckers arenβt going anywhere.
Well...their pets get to go with them so don't you worry about it too much!
Lord grant that they all be 'Ruptured' instead. What a bunch of dangerous psychos these fundamentalists are!
Bahaha! Good one π
Most that I've met recently have suffered some sort of comatose event in their lives. One place I recently went to kicked me out for giving people copies of "The Citizens Rule Book' to four people The pastor, the assistant pastor a deacon and a man on the security detail. Guess what is in it? A COPY OF THE US CONSTITUTION, THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, THE BILL OF RIGHTS and section on the POWER OF THE JURY! Yeah, you read that right. This was in a message that was sent to me by Email from the PASTOR!!...
.π°π πππ ππππ ππt πππ ππππ ππππππππ, πππππ, ππππππ ππππππππ, ππ ππππππππ ππ πππ ππππ ππππππππππ πππ ππππππππππ ππ π πππππππ ππππ ππππ ππ ππ πππ πππππππ, πππ ππππ ππ ππππππ ππ πππππππ ππ πππππππ ππππ ππ.
All of this theological manure should make for excellent crop fertilizer.
The Boomer-Doomer evangelicals are planning a gala celebration the day before the Rapture with the Rolling Stones and The Grateful Dead.
They'll be singing "When The Satanists Go Marching In".
ROTFLMAO!
I was over forty the first I ever heard of the rapture. I could not believe ANYONE could believe THAT. Then I moved to Tennessee in my sixties. Christ on a bike!?!
Oh absolutely, nothing screams βmost normal day everβ like inflatable rapture decoys, TikTok prophets, and Donald Trump phoning pastors as if heaven has a hotline. If this is the end of days, at least itβs got top-tier slapstick energy. Fuck Trump and everything he stands for!
But wait, what about Armageddon? Weβve got our Charlie martyr now, but weβve got to have the big finale, so pray, pray as never before! Oh God, help the Israelis start THE WAR!
Hopefully God will ignore THAT prayer!
Sloths, ah? Well, that explains why Jehovah's Witnesses have been so active lately. Busy-bee writing letters and circling around the neighborhood like vultures. Blood donors of all countries unite to repel this cult of death. Luckily Jeshua has a good sense of humor. While a brilliant journalist here is another proof of the existence of God.
A Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farm for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
Brilliant, I actually laughed ........π
Greetings from Hamburg
your Anthony
The Rapture ffs.
Utter maniacs.
Imagine trying to explain that to young kids, from their 'loved ones' as well. It's a form of abuse, mental cruelty.
Pity it couldn't occur but just to those who desire it.
"Those who make you believe absurdities..."
Bring in the rapture as soon as possible please!π
I haven't seen this myself, but I heard about a guy whose appendix was raptured.
Funny as fuck! So let me get this right. You wrote some words in America and then - kapoom!- hot dang, they arrived here in Austraya, and made some bloke laugh. That's almost better than CB radio. 10/4 Brother Truckers! Jesus is King. There is no other. Amen.
https://youtu.be/0FCQiHHFZiA?si=Vp2MenvKQ2QpGyWD
Susan, the line 10/4 Brother truckers comes from this song by Jayne Denham -"Rockin' with Ned"
She is a fantastic Aussie country artist that deserves more recognition. xoxo
Laura YOU are the hammer and the psychovangelicals are the nails.
Keep on hittinβ βem Sistah!
Hilarious!