Today is not a day for satire, it's a day for serious talk
We need to do something before it's too late
I feel like I’m losing my mind.
I woke up this morning, wanting to write about the horrors Israel is inflicting on Lebanon, which is basically Gaza part II.
Tower blocks are ablaze. Black smoke fills the sky. Entire neighbourhoods lie in rubble. And the rockets don’t stop. I’m getting the most horrific sense of deja vu. Right after one holocaust, we’re watching another one take place.
Throughout the Gaza genocide, I tried to expose the hypocrisy and sheer monstrosity of our leaders through satire, but I’m wondering how I can possibly find humour when every key press is painful? Today is one of those rare days when I’m struggling to stay in character, but I have to say something.
We’ve just watched Netanyahu destroy the entirety of Gaza, and now we’re gonna watch him do the same to Lebanon, and we’re gonna watch him try the same with Iran, and then what? We just let the whole fucking world burn for this madman and the monstrous band of colonisers we pretend is a respectable country?
We’re seeing in real-time what settler-colonialism is and what it does. In the past, people didn’t witness the process on live-stream, so they had the excuse of ignorance. Today, we have no such excuse. We see it all, including the gleeful celebrations from the most depraved people on earth, people who went on boat tours so they could watch Gaza be reduced to rubble and fantasise about colonising the land.
And now what? We’re just gonna sit back and let genocide happen again? I could not feel more sick.
We have the strongest moral obligation to force a ceasefire before this nightmare goes any further, but I’m struggling to believe we will. I still have the image in my mind of a burnt baby in Gaza, in desperate need of a skin graft, trembling non-stop, indescribable pain etched into her face. I doubt that precious baby survived. I have a baby and that image awakens something inside of me, as it should with any feeling person.
The people who lied about 40 beheaded babies say Palestinian babies are terrorists to justify murdering them. Why are we supporting child murderers? Why don’t we pull the plug on their genocide? What the fuck is going on? How are we not more ashamed? How are we not feeling France 1789 levels of rage?
Our leaders amplified the propaganda as Israel turned hospitals into battlegrounds. They gave the green light for Israel to withhold food, water and medicine from civilians. They shrugged as premature babies starved and decomposed in incubators. They called us “anti-Semites” as we complained about children being scooped into carrier bags. They stole the education of students who demanded they comply with international law. And they expressed mild disapproval at Netanyahu while sending him more bombs. He needed those bombs because he would have otherwise run out. We could at the very least have let him run out, but even that was too much to ask.
One thing seems clear, if, or should I say when World War III kicks off, we will deserve to lose. There are many, many decent people in our countries, but none have been good enough to stop our monstrous leaders, and if we are ordered to fight, let’s be honest, that’s what most of us will do.
I don’t know if you’ve somehow missed it, but they keep talking about conscription. I saw another newspaper article about this yesterday. They were calling for conscription in the House of Lords because our army is “not big enough” apparently. Not big enough for what? We’re a nuclear fucking power! The only wars we find ourselves in are the ones we choose to involve ourselves in.
Take a look at your children and ask yourself which one you’re willing to sacrifice for Benjamin Netanyahu. I would hope the answer is none, but the reality is you might lose all of your children. Think about this for more than a second and feel scared because collective fear might be the only thing that stops this.
If Netanyahu doesn’t stop, war is not gonna be something we’re watching on our screens. It will be everywhere we look. Maybe it wasn’t a deal breaker for you when brown children were getting picked out of the rubble. How about when it’s your own?
My eldest son is 12 years old. They’re talking of preparing to fight a world war by 2029. I’d be astonished if it took that long, but my son will be approaching fighting age by then, and I pity anyone who comes to my house to drag him off to war.
And it’s not just our sons, they’re even talking about conscripting our daughters. Our fucking daughters. My daughter can’t even walk along the street without tripping up and grazing her knee and you would send her into a warzone?
Despite my online snark, I go through life being a nice person, but I have no words to express the hatred I feel for anyone who would use my kids as meat shields. These fuckers are just begging for a revolution.
Make no mistake, if we don’t rein Netanyahu in, we will be fighting World War III for him. We will be fighting for a world where people with the wrong skin colour or religion or system of government can be slaughtered forever. A world where anyone who speaks out at home is punished. That’s what our warped version of liberal democracy has led us to. It’s what endlessly choosing the lesser of two evils has led us to.
This is not some abstract economic thing, it’s life and death, even for the people who thought they were safe. How can we see it any other way?
Netanyahu visits the US and takes the opportunity to threaten the world, triggering a walkout at the UN. The civilised world is disgusted with us, but when has the empire ever given a shit what the civilised world thinks?
Netanyahu ordered the carpet-bombing of Beirut from a UN office, killing hundreds of civilians in the hope of killing one man. Instead of ordering Netanyahu’s arrest, Biden pretends to be upset with him, and then gives him another $47 quadrillion. Hey, Americans, if you want your president to find the money for universal healthcare, all you have to do is blow up several Middle Eastern countries!
The UK government is hardly any better than the US oligarchy. They’re trying to get rid of our NHS and all the things that help ordinary people and they’re refusing to tax the rich. Lord Alli, and other rich bastards, have bought our government and this means your vote counts for nothing. How can they make it any clearer they’re not on our side?
The Labour cabinet was partying with Tzipi Hotoveli as the prime minister mocked anyone who asked about children dying in Gaza. He fucking mocked them. And his security roughed them up. And I’m unclear on this point, but it seems some might be prosecuted for wanting our prime minister to stop murdering children.
And while all this is going on, we’re turning into a mass surveillance state where the government can look into bank accounts whenever they want. They’re even talking of putting trackers in your car and charging you for every mile you drive. We won’t be able to do a thing without the government knowing and the reason is simple: they need to control us.
The corporate media has been captured by the national security state. They’re constantly pushing for online censorship and history shows us the people who do censorship are never the good guys.
Our leaders say we have a democratic process as though a vote every five years gives them impunity, but it’s not just students with blue hair demanding they change, it’s the world’s highest court. And instead of complying with the world’s highest court, our leaders are pretending social media influencers who point out their war crimes are terrorists.
Some of you might lament that the ICC has not issued arrest warrants, but you can guarantee those judges are being intimidated. If they stand up to the intimidation, they will be putting themselves and their families at risk, but they must make a stand anyway.
Our leaders are acting illegally, they know they are acting illegally, and they don’t care that they are acting illegally. History is watching and we must stop these fascists.
Keep protesting, keep raising your voice, keep highlighting every crime they commit, stay peaceful, and refuse to participate in their murder machine. They can can’t jail us all x
Thank you so much for this 💕
Your satire is brilliant, but your earnest alarm is brilliant AND necessary.
Couldn't agree more. WTF is wrong with people?