Tony Blair appointed to Gaza Board of Peace after Satan was unavailable

Sir Tony Blair has been appointed to the Gaza Board of Peace after Satan was unavailable and Genghis Khan said "no" because it might harm his reputation. Blair was awakened from his sleep inside the Ghostbusters 2 painting to take up the role. He looks forward to being reinvigorated by the screams of Palestinian children.

As someone with a body count of over a million Muslims, no one is more qualified than Blair to bring peace to the rubble of Gaza. He was therefore the perfect replacement for Satan. Genghis Khan can go fuck himself.

President Trump has appointed himself chairman of the board, but he is unlikely to play an active role, given he spends 50% of his time napping.

Like me, you probably hoped Trump would take a hands on approach, like he does with women who say “no”. However, handing over responsibility will let him focus on more pressing matters, such as fending off paedophilia charges and murdering world leaders for Israel.

Tony Blair will be joining other humanitarians on the board, such as Marco Rubio, Steve Witkoff, Marc Rowan, Dr Robotnik, Ajay Banga, Robert Gabriel, Lord Voldemort, and Jared Kushner. Now I know what you’re all thinking: Jared Kushner can’t possibly be a real person, but according to Grok, he is. I’m stunned too.

The Board of Peace will ensure stability during the ceasefire while Israel bombs every sign of movement in Gaza. At the end of the transition, a few hundred surviving Palestinians will be allowed to spend the rest of their lives in servitude to Israel. Think of it as compensation for 7 October.

The Board of Peace will seek out investment opportunities in Gaza, once the corpses have been cleared out. It’s very important for Zionists to profit from this catastrophe.

Thousands of Polish people are excited to move into the Gaza Riviera as soon as the natives are out the way. Despite what antisemites say, this is nothing like colonialism because Gaza was promised to eastern Europeans 3,000 years ago, just like Patagonia.

Understandably, no Muslims or Palestinians are serving on the Gaza Board of Peace. Also, no women are on the board to avoid the risk of empathy. I’m unclear why they didn’t ask me or Karoline Leavitt or a Muslim like say, Jafar, so we at least had the pretence of balance.

Needless to say, Palestinians do not get a say in who should rule them because Palestinians hate democracy. Zionists are going to tell them what to do and they are going to fucking well obey. Hopefully, we will soon be using this approach to Iran.

Middle Eastern countries are confident that if they don’t kick up a fuss, they won’t be the next part of the Greater Israel Project. All I can say is thank god they are all so weak and gullible. They are making this so easy x

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