US president Joe Biden is no longer keen on genocide
He might even back a ceasefire now there is nothing left to bomb
US president Joe Biden has decided he is not so keen on genocide now that Israel is breaking the ICJ’s provisional measures in such a blatant way even his propaganda machine can’t cover for them, but remember, this is totally not a genocide, even though it’s definitely a textbook genocide. The president has even indicated his support for a ceasefire now there are no longer any buildings to bomb in Gaza.
After Israel fired shells at emaciated civilians queuing for food, and ran handcuffed captives over with tanks, and executed five-year-olds with gun shots to the head, Joe Biden realised not even lying machine Antony Blinken was a good enough bullshitter to pretend those aid trucks were Hamas and the children were armed militants who posed an immediate threat to The World’s Most Moral Army ™.
The IDF had carefully explained their courageous tank drivers were scared when they fired at unarmed civilians because those civilians started running away and the stampede made them fire again in self-defence. This caused even Karine Jean-Pierre to laugh out loud and left Joe Biden with no choice but to airdrop food parcels into Gaza. The move was immediately condemned by human rights lawyer Sir Keir Starmer who said: “I think Israel does have that right” to withhold food from starving civilians.
In case you didn’t know, feeding starving civilians is one of the war crimes that Israel made up because food packages in Gaza make Israelis feel as unsafe as a tearful British journalist when the electorate votes for a candidate they don’t like in a by-election.
Tensions between the US and its middle-east outpost are now so high AIPAC has threatened to withdraw funding to the members of congress it sponsors, meaning several mistresses are going without expensive gifts in the coming months. This is a volatile situation because sexual frustration is about to reach an all-time high, and let’s be honest, congress is unstable at the best of times.
Unreasonable human rights groups have pointed out the US could use its leverage as Israel’s arms dealer to allow aid trucks into Gaza instead of relying on airdrops to solve the mass starvation that has no obvious cause. The US said it is unable to go any further than it already has because it is scared shitless of Benjamin Netanyahu.
A furious Israel has already denounced the US air force as Hamas and demanded the US president apologise for complying with international law because international law is clearly racist against people who are fond of ethnic cleansing.
Thankfully, Israeli civilians have come up with a cunning plan to pitch tents on US aircraft carriers and set up bouncy castles on runways to make sure those C-130 aid planes can’t take off. This plan should save lives because the IDF won’t be tempted to shoot the civilians who collect the aid parcels.
The US might have been complicit in genocide every step of the way, supplying the bombs that have killed or maimed 100,000 civilians, but they’ve made it okay by sending a single meal to 38,000 Palestinians - a whopping 1.75% of the Gaza population (the other 88.25% can eat grass for all they care).
As a result of feeding a handful of people who survived his bombs, Joe Biden has totally exonerated himself of war crimes and proved he was a good guy all along. In other news, serial killers will no longer face prosecution if they send a Happy Meal into hospitals for any victim who survives their hammer attacks. This is how justice works x
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I have to say , you have turned the satire amplifier up to 11, and even Lemmy would be cowering behind the drum kit in fear of your machine gun volleys of Kafka-esque truth.
Stop the genocide. Free Palestine.
Wow, another brilliant take here, on the Biden complicity with the horrid situation in Gaza, while our press and politicos continue to whistle Dixie