US president meets with Donald Trump at the White House
US president Benjamin Netanyahu has met with his lovely assistant Donald Trump at the White House. Netanyahu, who spends most of the year residing in someone else's house in occupied Palestine, had arrived to discuss important matters such as putting Israel firstest, nuking Tehran, and assassinating Zohran Mamdani.
Protesters gathered outside the White House, demanding the arrest of Netanyahu for petty offences such as war crimes and genocide. They somehow forgot international law does not apply to those who've obtained large amounts of kompromat on congress.
In a surprising show of restraint, authorities have resisted firing on the crowd because they want to reserve that kind of bloodshed for Gaza. The protesters are getting off lightly if you ask me.
Being a gentleman, Trump pulled out Netanyahu's chair like a loyal servant and gave him a customary shoulder rub. The pair had dinner and discussed their plans for Gaza which include "concentrating" the entire population into a "camp" for humanitarian reasons. Rest assured, this is just a stop gap until those of the wrong ethnicity can be voluntarily cleansed from the land.
A key point of discussion was turning Gaza into a paedophile haven called "Trump Riviera" as well as a "Musk Smart Manufacturing Zone". Needless to say, Trump is not happy about the name of the smart manufacturing zone, but no one is going to put his name alongside "smart", are they?
Trump, an inexplicably popular social media influencer best known for his failed relationship with Stormy Daniels, sought assurances from his boss that the Epstein client list would never be made public. Netanyahu explained that keeping the list private will be a performance-related bonus, meaning the pressure is on.
Trump now has to figure out how he is going to tell MAGA that nuking Tehran means putting America first. Pandering to the mob can be so hard, but at least it comes with its rewards...
After dinner, Netanyahu led Trump away to one of those extravagant rape mansions with hidden cameras everywhere as a thank you for his loyalty. Heart warming, isn't it? x
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I didn’t have to read the article, soon as I read the headline a laughed so hard, thank you
On the nail! Right on the friggin nail! As always! Thank you!