Archive - Normal Island News

Israel accidentally bombed journalists in hospital and then accidentally bombed the rescuers

Let's be honest: who hasn't accidentally launched a suicide drone at a hospital, taking out a bunch of journalists who were live on air, and then…

24 hrs ago •

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Normal Island News

Lucie Connolly declares she is the UK's Nelson Mandela

Following her release from prison, Lucie Connolly has referred to herself a "political prisoner" and humbly declared she is the UK's Nelson Mandela.

Aug 23 •

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Normal Island News

As IDF achieves 83% civilian casualty rate, Netanyahu unveils plan to censor whole internet

The IDF could not resist boasting that at least 83% of the people it has killed in Gaza are civilians - a murder rate that has surpassed Itamir Ben…

Aug 22 •

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Normal Island News

Police confirm saying "kill 'em all" is not terrorism, but non-violently opposing genocide is

In times like these, it's incredibly important we have moral clarity and we have finally received such clarity from the police.

Aug 17 •

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Normal Island News

Renowned journalist explains it is "antisemitic" to oppose killing children and civilians

World-renowned journalist Stephen Pollard has reacted with understandable fury after seeing a banner which simply read: "Stop killing children.

Aug 14 •

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Normal Island News

Israel says it cannot withdraw from Gaza until it has successfully eliminated all journalists

Since 7 October 2023, Israel has embarked on a noble mission to ensure the full truth about Gaza can never be made public.

Aug 11 •

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Normal Island News

Police identify blind man in wheelchair as mastermind behind Hamas UK

Police have captured the mastermind they believe is behind the zero terror attacks carried out by Hamas UK.

Aug 9 •

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Normal Island News

Palestinian footballer dies of "natural causes" after bullet strikes him in aid queue

Suleiman al-Obeid, a renowned footballer nicknamed the "Palestinian Pele" has sadly died of natural causes after a bullet struck him while he was…

Aug 9 •

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Normal Island News

UK's homeless minister makes four people homeless so she can pocket an extra £700 in rent

The UK's homeless minister, Rushanara Ali, has been hard at work, making her tenants homeless so she can earn passive income.

Aug 7 •

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Normal Island News

President Trump courageously plans nuclear war to prevent release of Trump-Epstein files

The most rational and well-balanced US president ever, Donaald Trump, is making exciting plans to start nuclear war with Russia to prevent the release…

Aug 2 •

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Normal Island News

July 2025

UK government makes exciting plans to put recording devices in every car for your "safety"

Everyone in the UK has been feeling much safer since the Online Safety Act made Spotify threaten to delete your account, unless you agree to have your…

Jul 31 •

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Normal Island News

UK government celebrates ruining entire internet for whole world to save zero children from harm

The Online Safety Act came into effect two days ago and it has been a roaring success, ruining the entire internet for everyone to save zero children…

Jul 28 •

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Normal Island News

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